The Wrong Time
by FriendsAddict
Summary: A Ross and Rachel fanfic beginning from the Season 10 finale. Rachel left New York, then came back after a few years. The question is, can she and Ross still make it? Would time be on their side? NOW COMPLETE!New Ch. 14 uploaded since I forgot to
1. Preview

Here's my newest fic.

This is my version of how the finale of season 10 came along... this is just an introduction to give you an idea of how the story would go.

* * *

**Preview**

**The Wrong Time**

Ross sadly entered his apartment, threw his keys to the coffee table and pressed the button of his answering machine. Retreating to his trusty old leather couch, he slowly sat up and played the message which surprisingly was from the love of his life...

"Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you Ross, I love you so much but... I can't stay. Not now. We can't go down that road again. I know we've been through a lot, although it's different now... we have Emma. I don't wanna see the look on Emma's face when we fight, or- or when we can't work things out. If in the end, we're meant to be then it'll happen, right? But for now, let's just leave it this way. I'm so sorry honey, I have to-" _beep_.

And he closed his eyes, allowing a single tear to run down his cheek.

Is it the end of Ross and Rachel?

* * *

To be continued... and will be updated really soon;)

Reviews would greatly be appreciated:)


	2. Chapter 1

I finally have the time to write! Sorry for the long wit, but here's the first chapter! Hope you all enjoy it, and don't forget to leave me a review afterwards! They'll really help me :)**

* * *

**

**Chapter 1**

"Mommy, what's sex?" five–year old Emma asked her mom.

Rachel's eyes widened at her daughter's inquiry. Oh my… was she expecting that. Three and a half years ago, she boarded the plane to Paris. Now she's back in New York, and just after her daughter's first day of school, she's trapped in a situation she never imagined. What was sex? And how would she explain it to a child in sense that it wouldn't sound bad at all?

Emma patiently looked at her mom, curiously waiting for an answer.

Rachel couldn't think; it was like explaining why birds fly… why do birds fly anyway?

"Mom?"

Rachel smiled and began to scratch her chin. She had to say something. "Where did you get that, honey?"

"The kids at school were talking about it and I didn't know what it is."

Kids, kids, kids, always asking questions… she thought.

"Did they know what it is?"

Emma sighed, "They said that's when two people start kissing. But mommy, you kiss me all the time! Is that sex?"

Rachel panicked; it was much harder than she thought. She knelt down to face her daughter and chuckled, "No sweetie, that's not sex. Sex is when the- the- um…" She was running out of words! "It's what two people, preferably a boy and a girl, do when they love each other and decide that they want to have a baby… like mommies and daddies!"

Rachel watched as her daughter swallowed the information she just heard.

Then she asked again, "So you and daddy had sex to have me?"

If only she could change the topic…

Rachel bit her lip and forced a smile, "Yes sweetie, your daddy and I had sex."

Emma smiled and replied, "Ok!" With that she ran to her room and left her mother knelt on the floor rubbing her temples.

* * *

Moving back to New York was difficult. To begin with, Rachel finally had to face her inner demons that had been asleep since she left for Paris. She didn't realize she'd been gone for so long until Louis Vuitton decided to transfer her to their New York City office.

Work and Emma ate most of her time, so she only had a few dates, but none of them worked out. Visiting her friends and family in New York was a plan that never pushed through… thank God they were nice and generous enough to visit her and Emma there. Leonard and Sandra visited yearly, and of course, they came separately. Her sisters, Amy and Jill availed of her 40 off employee discount in Louis Vuitton so showed up often. Monica and Chandler went there once to celebrate their anniversary, and to Rachel's surprise, so did Joey with his progressing acting career in Los Angeles. Phoebe never visited, but she called often. And Ross, who called almost every other day to talk to his daughter, came whenever he had the chance.

Although Rachel hardly noticed Ross' presence in the four times he visited because he came just before the peak season. And that was always a hectic time for the fashion industry for they had to come up with new designs- either for winter, fall, spring or summer. Before she could entertain him, he had already left.

On the other hand, Ross understood Rachel's situation. He himself was busy with work as well… or he kept himself busy with work.

Rachel's departure was surely painful, but after having a heat-to-heart conversation over the phone, Ross came to realize that they were better off as friends.

Why?

For the reason that between them, it was always the wrong time… How can they be together if the world was always against them? It was either because they were with someone else, they felt differently towards each other, or they prioritized something else.

The only living proof that they were once the happiest people in the world was Emma, whom they considered was a gift from God, and even though they were apart, they would do everything for her.

Ross decided to get over Rachel. Love will always exist between them, for it was the only thing they felt for each other… but if time can't be on their side, he might as well go on with his life.

In contrast, Rachel was left in confusion. After the conversation, she thought that was what she wanted. Three years later, she realized she was wrong. All the time in Paris, Rachel failed to think for herself and her feelings because she hardly had the occasion to do so. Arriving in La Guardia airport just struck her like a bat to a baseball… memories of Ross filled her mind.

The question was, was it too late?

* * *

Chapter 2 will be uploaded soon:)


	3. Chapter 2

Thank you for the reviews! Keep them coming, they're my source of motivation :) Anyway, here's the 2nd chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"Hi Rach!" Ross greeted as he entered Rachel's apartment carrying a sleeping Emma.

"Oh hey!" greeting in return, looking up from the box she was unpacking in the living room. "You know what? Not having Chan and Mon across is really hard to get used to!"

Ross smiled at that cause he knew it was true.

Rachel was lucky enough that Joey hadn't sublet his apartment yet. Until he got a permanent job in L.A., he's been going back and forth across the states, and Rachel's transfer came just in time before he could sell it. Although the bad part is, the apartment was a mess. She definitely had to remodel the whole thing, even the carpet! It seems that the old spaghetti stains were excessively unhygienic for Rachel to live with.

Rachel offered her arms to Ross, motioning him to hand Emma to her. Instead, Ross shook his head and headed towards Joey's old room.

She watched him walk by her, damn he smelled good- like always. His grey shirt told the story of how his day with Emma went by. On the lower left of his torso, there was a chocolate smudge which indicated that he and Emma could've bought ice cream right after eating hotdogs, which was signified by the mustard stain right beside the brown spot. It seems that they also watched a movie together because Ross' chest had cheese powder, and Rachel was sure it was _The Polar Express_.

Rachel realized that Ross was quizzically looking at her for she was staring at his chest. "So how was the Polar Express?"

"How did you know?" Ross asked.

"She's been wanting to watch that since Paris, but I told her you'd take her." she paused, "and there's cheese powder all over your shirt."

Ross looked down, saw his chest and began laughing. "The movie was fine, I never knew cartoons would actually seem real one day. Oh Rach! Emma asked me this afternoon if you and I had- um.. you and I had se- sex to have her…?" he nervously asked, "what- what was that?" and uncomfortably chuckled.

Rachel felt her heart skip a beat; she thought her daughter had forgotten the talk they had the night before. "That was- well, you see… Hmmm…" beads of perspiration started forming on her forehead. "Yesterday she came home from school and asked me what sex was because apparently, her new friends were talking about it."

"She asked you what sex was. But she's five-years old!" Ross commented in shock.

"I know Ross, but I still had to explain it to her because she thought sex was about two people kissing. I simply told her that sex is something done by two people who loved each other and decided to have a baby." That last line took her by surprise… did she just say 'two people who loved each other?' She hoped he didn't notice that line- or that word even.

It was a Freudian slip.

Her thoughts were killing her, how stupid was she to forget that the last time she had sex was with him- in his house- on his bed covered with his sheets.

Rachel looked baffled, and Ross just laughed at her. "Okay so now my daughter knows about sex, but believes in Santa as well. That's- odd! Anyway, I gotta go. I still have to pass by Catherine's house and…"

Rachel smiled at him and said, "Sure. Thanks for taking Emma out today, fixing this whole apartment's harder than I thought! I was looking forward to spend time with her before work starts."

"Actually, I should the one to thank you. I haven't been with her for the longest time, and I believe now's the chance for me to spend time with her. I just missed her SO much!" he sheepishly smiled.

Rachel missed **him**, she missed those puppy eyes. Before she left New York three years ago, Ross looked at her the same and told her that she didn't have to leave. But she did, and now... now her life wasn't how she once dreamed it would be.

* * *

As soon as Rachel finished unpacking after Ross left that Saturday night, she sulked with her bottle of wine and bowl of popcorn. She was watching TV, but not really paying attention. Her mind wandered, and in the end, she found herself thinking about Ross-again. 

Catherine, as he mentioned earlier, was the girl he began dating almost a year ago. He talked about her with Rach on his last visit to Paris, but she didn't bother pondering on it. It just struck her when he brought her name up.

He was taken.

She didn't know they were still together, and how stupid she felt for thinking that things were still the same when she came home.

It was too late.

He was with someone now, and damn, wasn't he always with someone when this happens?

First it was Julie in China, then Bonnie who balded herself, then Emily in London, and then Mona, then finally Charlie… it wouldn't be fair anymore, and Ross was happy. She, on the other hand, felt complicated. Coming home to New York meant she had to deal with herself and her feelings- and she hasn't done that for quite a while. It was always about Emma or work, never about her.

And now, without Monica a few steps away, life seemed even harder.

* * *

Chapter 3 soon 


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Instead of enjoying the rare opportunity, Rachel now hated having time for herself because it made her think… Louis Vuitton sure wasn't in a hurry to make her work- they gave her a week extension off just so she could settle down.

But today, Ross took Emma with him to visit Ben so she's alone at home. Monica and Phoebe were at work so she couldn't call or visit them and her sisters were the last people she'd want to talk to.

Rachel exasperatedly sat on the couch. She was doing everything just so she won't get bored. She cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom, her room and Emma's too. She found a few videos to watch but ended up sitting on the couch, succumbing to what she hated the most… to think about Ross.

Why did she leave?

She didn't know. It wasn't clear.

Maybe because the job paid high, it was time to redeem herself once again… and it was Paris, who wouldn't want to go there? But why did she leave Ross while he was there in the airport, offering her a lifetime of happiness? He told her he loved her… she did too. She knew she loved him but the fact of risking everything again scared her. But was she wrong?

She couldn't do this alone… she needed a drink!

After getting a bottle of wine and a glass, she resumed questioning everything she had gone through for the last few years. Going to Paris wasn't wrong. She learned a lot and became a more independent person. What seemed like a fault on her side was to let Ross go… and she knew that from the time she boarded the plane.

For years she refused admitting to herself that she made a mistake. When he visited her and Emma a couple of times in Paris, it was like nothing happened. The busy schedule Rachel had made hardly enough time for them to talk about deep things. He was there to visit Emma in the first place.

Yet now that Rachel's back in New York, she felt it… Her heart would scream whenever Ross was near.

A knock on the door disrupted Rachel's train of thought. Emma and Ross were back from Carol's house.

"Mommy!" Emma shouted as soon as she saw Rachel.

"Honey I thought you were asleep," Ross said, giving his little angel to her mom.

"I was!" she smirked.

Rachel chuckled, "She always does that when she wants to be carried."

Ross gave Emma an evil smile.

In return, Emma pretended to fall asleep on Rachel's shoulder.

"So how's Ben?" Rachel asked.

"He's okay. I swear, that boy's becoming a man already. He's almost as tall as me!"

"Wow, the last time I saw him was I think Emma's birthday… or was it the Christmas before I left?"

"I think it was Christmas," Ross replied.

They shared a moment, recalling that day they attempted to build Monica's Christmas tree but failed to do so. it was so much fun. Joey was showing them how to make fake frost on the windows with his spray but ended up spraying it on his eye… Phoebe sang while Monica cooked and Chandler did nothing as usual… though Ross and Rachel were watching Emma open her gifts.

Memories… and there were more to come.

Ross noticed the wine on the coffee table. "Have you been drinking?"

Rachel laughed, "I didn't know what to do today. I'm just so used to doing something every minute that I got bored."

"So you ended up drinking alone?" Ross shot back.

"Hey! I had no one to invite. And besides, I didn't drink that much."

"Would you mind if I join you then?"

"No, not at all!" Rachel smiled. They both checked up on Emma on Rachel's arms… and she was asleep.

Ross approached Rachel and took Emma from her. Feeling him near her sent chills down her spine… she could smell his perfume. She couldn't stop staring at him, thank God he didn't notice.

Upon exiting from Emma's room, Ross saw two glasses and a bottle of wine on the coffee table. He was in for a long night…

* * *

I hope to upload the next chapter soon! Sorry this took long, school's eating me alive! As for Brad and Jen, well I wish them all the happiness in the world. Them getting back together would be great, but if they're better people apart, then let it be. At least we know Ross and Rachel are still together… and they can go on as long as we want them to)

Reviews? I did some minor editing with this chapter! Peace!)


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Two hours and three bottles of wine later…

Rachel couldn't stop laughing at Ross' lame story. He, on the other hand, was enjoying seeing her die of it.

"Stop it Ross!" Rachel managed to say in between tears, "It's not fair. I'm more drunk than you are… you can't just take advantage of me!"

"Who said I'm not as drunk as you are? Just because you snorted out the wine," he began laughing, "it doesn't mean…" and eventually, they both lost it.

Emma woke up with the noise and went out of her bedroom, holding a blanket on one hand and rubbing her eye with the other. She squinted and smiled upon seeing both her parents laughing. "Daddy?"

Ross and Rachel stopped and looked at their yawning daughter.

"Hi honey," Ross stood and scooped her with his arms.

Rachel let out a chuckle as Ross sat beside her. "Sorry for waking you up, sweetie," she said, gently brushing Emma's hair away from her face. With her head on her father's chest, the rhythm of his breathing slowly cradled her back to sleep.

Rachel couldn't help but stare at them in awe.. It was a beautiful sight.

Ross, then again, knew Rachel was looking at them. Little by little his eyes met the hers, reflecting the deep blue glistening color of the ocean. '_Damn are they beautiful,_' he thought. He felt like he was in another dimension, lost in a paradise waiting to be discovered once more.

Rachel was enamored gazing at him, drifting into a trance Ross partook in. It was that certain moment they've shared too many times before and longed for… a moment of solace, passion and ardor only they can experience with one another. Intoxicated and in a daze, both got lost in a world away from reality.

Slowly their faces were drawing near without losing eye contact with one another. The heat was rising, their heartbeats were raising and their breaths were deepening. Ross and Rachel could sense what was about to happen… the consequences did not seem to matter… the intimacy connected them once more. He could feel her warmth nearing and so could she...

"Mommy?" Emma peered and shifted to another position.

The moment was ruined.

Brought back to reality, both Ross and Rachel sat straight and looked away from each other.

In a state of panic, Ross stared at the floor. What was he thinking? He had a girlfriend! And God, Emma was right there in between the both of them! He silently scolded himself, wishing Rachel would be too drunk to remember the next day.

Rachel was confused. It was something she did not expect. Emma reached for her and she immediately stood up and carried her back to her bedroom. 'Ross has a girlfriend you idiot!' she said to herself. Was she still that vulnerable after all those years?

True, what just happened took place many times before… but my gosh, wasn't she old enough this time to control herself? She wanted him but he was moving on… and so should she!

Rachel wanted to stay in Emma's room forever… but that would just worsen the tension. She was drunk, he was drunk… was that a logical reason for their behavior? '_Maybe he's too drunk to handle himself!_' she thought… better yet, she wished.

Taking tiny steps from Emma's bed, her heart was pounding like an Energizer bunny. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't even look at where she was heading. The door pane was nearing and his figure was already seen. She felt like fainting!

Surprising Rachel, Ross was pouring the remains of their fourth wine in his glass. '_Is he that drunk_?' she thought, thinking he didn't feel the tension of what just happened. '_Maybe he is…_'

Although Ross' actions relieved her, little did she know that he wanted to get drunk enough to forget what just happened. On second thought, maybe she would forget about it too. "Would you like more?" Ross nervously asked.

She chuckled, believing that he WAS drunk. Shrugging off the edgy feeling, she gave her glass to Ross.

Not long after, they were back to laughing at each other… and with the shallowest jokes. It was getting late. Rachel could see that Ross was smashed so she offered her couch for him to crash in. Ross politely thanked her. Before she could return with his blanket, he was already snoring.

Oddly, she missed the distressing music of his sleep. So many times in the past she couldn't sleep because of the agonizing sound… she also remembered how embarrassed she felt when he snored during her fashion seminars. The memories of the past… locked up in the treasure chest of her heart.

* * *

I pray for time so that I can update this fic very soon ) 

I hope you enjoyed this chapter because I enjoyed writing it! Please don't forget to leave e review... they help me A LOT!


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Afraid to face reality, Ross opened his eyes.

It wasn't a dream; he really passed out on Rachel's couch. He squinted, avoiding the ray of the sun right at his eye. His stir caused a movement on his feet… there was his little angel, lying on her stomach on top of his blanket. She smiled at him, and it was the sweetest thing he'd ever seen.

Emma was so adorable with her pigtails sprouting on the sides of her head, and her face on the palms of her hands and elbows as she stared at him. Her glistening blue eyes that reminded him so much of her mother sparkled at the sight of him, "Good morning daddy!"

"Good morning sweetie," he gladly replied. A rare greeting he wished he'd receive every day of his life. "Were you just watching me the whole time?"

Emma sheepishly smiled, "You slept here!" Her face lit up like a bubble, and it made Ross' heart melt.

"Ems honey, I think your daddy's ready for breakfast now," Rachel said from behind.

Ross sat up as his daughter got off the couch and saw Rachel making pancakes in her blue robe. He smiled at the sight of the food she prepared on the table, "When did you learn how to cook?"

Rachel turned and shot him a look. "Hey," she complained pretending to be offended, "People grow you know!"

He loved Rachel's cute little gestures which he discovered since they were dating. She had certain ways of reacting whenever Ross would tease her… and recently, he found out his daughter had them to.

Just the other day, Ross played a joke on Emma. He told her that Jack and Erica were over so that she could hurry up playing in the shower. She quickly stood up and dried herself, without rinsing herself, only to find out her father was fooling around. She tilted her head, placed her hands on her waist and cringed at him- a retort Rachel usually did. She began tapping the floor with her foot and told him, "_That's not nice, daddy!_" He couldn't keep a straight face. '_She **is **Rachel's daughter,_' he told himself.

Upon remembering that, Ross let out a chuckle.

Rachel turned to him again, this time with one hand on her waist and the other flipping the pancake "And you're laughing because?"

"Because you reminded me of Emma," he finally stood up and held scruffy hair, gesturing a headache.

Rachel threw him a medicine tablet which he successfully caught and asked, "What?"

"I kind'a played a trick on her the other day cause she took so long playing in the bathroom. Apparently, of all the things she could inherit from you, she got that same thing you'd do when people teased you."

With this, Rachel smiled proud.

"Let's eat, daddy," Emma exited from her room and pulled her father to the chair.

Ross couldn't stop feeling pleased with his daughter. She just seemed so different that day. Was it because he hardly spent time with her? Or with both her and her mommy? Or did she really behave that way in front of Rachel? Whatever the case was, he cherished the moment, forgetting all about his obligations. It was family time… him, his daughter and Rachel.

* * *

Rachel's food wasn't that bad after all, in fact it was good! "I'm giving you four out of five stars," Ross announced as he helped her tidy up the place. 

"What happened to the last star?" she whined.

"I can make you a star, mommy" Emma butted in and lifted up her drawing of a star.

"That's wonderful honey," Rachel complemented her baby. Ross smiled at Emma too… she was just too sweet and thoughtful to ignore.

As soon as everything was cleaned, Ross washed his hands and prepared to leave. "Well, I had a weird but great time," he said to Rachel.

She smiled, running her fingers through her hair.

"Next time we'll drink in moderation," he joked.

She let out a sigh and returned his gaze. '_He still has enchanting eyes_,' she commented to herself. A few seconds later, they looked away from each other.

'_This isn't healthy anymore_,' Rachel scolded herself… she was sober!

Yet before Ross could turn the doorknob, Emma ran and hugged his legs. "Daddy, please don't go!" the five-year old pleaded.

"Honey, daddy's gotta take a bath and go to work! I promise I'll pick you up tomorrow morning and we can go to Central Park again with Ben, and I'll also call you when I get home!" he bargained.

At her age, Emma had separation anxieties with her parents. With Ross, just as long as he promises her a definite date again, she would let him go. That was why Ross' visits were sometimes a problem in Paris. Whenever his departure for New York was drawing closer, Emma would have a day to day tantrum. But with Rachel, she couldn't last a day not seeing her. Her mommy was like her security blanket.

Emma looked up at her dad, trying to understand why her parents can just live together like other people. It was a heartbreaking scene… and Rachel felt most of the pain. In her opinion, it was all still her fault.

Ross picked Emma up and hugged her tight, "Sweetie I promise you I'll see you again tomorrow." Emma looked down and played with her father's collar. "

* * *

"Rachel, you can't just go kissing guys drunk, and with a child in your houseyou know!" Monica lectured her friend who visited her home. 

"Nothing happened Mon… we didn't even kiss."

"Thank God Emma didn't see you both!"

Rachel looked down, avoiding the gaze of her best friend.

"Emma saw you?" Monica shot back.

"No Mon, she didn't… she was asleep in between us."

Monica rolled her eyes.

"Mon we were drunk. The attraction between us was just too strong!" she confessed.

"Okay, okay" Monica calmed down. "Who was this guy anyway? You getting drunk **again **reminds me of Ross," she began to chuckle.

Rachel froze.

"Rach?"

She couldn't answer and her cheeks were burning.

"It was Ross? You almost kissed Ross?"

"Shhhh!" Rachel hissed.

"Rachel Karen Green, are you insane?"

"Monica your children are asleep in the other room. It would help if you toned down a bit."

"What were you thinking?" she softened her voice, setting the pan on her kitchen table.

"Monica, I was drunk... I don't know!" Rachel scratched her head, "my hormones were probably raging. I haven't had sex since… since I left!"

"Why were you with Ross in the first place?"

"He took Emma out last night. I was drinking when he arrived so he joined me… and ended up crashing on the couch," lowering her voice.

Monica looked at her best friend in thought… she had to forgive her Rachel's childishness but something bugged her. "Isn't it a bit too late Rach?"

Rachel sadly looked up at Monica and laughed, "You know me too well."

Monica smiled.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, Mon. I don't even know why I left. He told me he loved me, and I loved him too… God, I loved him too. But for some reason, I got scared. I didn't think things would turn out right… and I didn't want Emma to get hurt. But now, when I see them together, I just feel so guilty. It's my fault."

"Rachel, everything's unpredictable. It's not your fault! If oyu stayed, things might've ended badly. It's all for the best, right?" she comforted her. "The question is, are you still **in** love with him?"

Rachel looked down.

"I take that as a yes," Monica said and hugged her confidant.

* * *

"I want Boardwalk!" Emma squealed. 

"Sorry Ems, it's valuable to miss," Ben teased, handing Ross $400 worth of Monopoly money.

Emma frowned and crawled onto her mother's lap. "It's okay sweetie, we'll beat them!" Rachel whispered to her ear.

"My turn," Ross announced.

It was a Saturday night... and for the past 3 weeks, Saturday night had been a family night for Ross, Rachel and Emma. It was the only time that they were free altogether without any hindrances.

Rachel returned to work already so her weekdays were busied with Emma in tow, and Sundays were spent with friends. And although Ross was in the 'friends' category, Catherine tagging along ruined it for Emma… not that she hated her daddy's girlfriend or anything, she just felt that it was different if she was there.

Catherine, as Ross described, was the sweetest, most caring woman in the planet. Ross' 'family time' didn't seem to bother her. She was nice to Emma and even to Rachel. Since she was also interested in Paleontology, Ross couldn't ask for more. He adored her, and in return, she adored him too.

Whenever they were together, they had their own world… and with a relationship going strong for more than a year, marriage was a frequent question asked by those around them. The downfall was that Ross hadn't considered it yet. 'A fourth marriage isn't what I need,' he'd reply to his friends, 'and besides, we hardly know each other yet!' To the rest, they pondered. But to Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe, they knew the real reason why... With Ross, **loving** a woman wasn't simple, getting over her was even worse.

The day Rachel left was hell for Ross. God, for years he tried to hide what he felt… he hid it not only from other people, but from himself. Then when he had the courage to confess everything, she left instead. He lost her- again. But that time, things were different… it was as if there was no tomorrow.

She was in another place, with a part of him, thousands of miles away.

He reasoned out to himself, but nothing seemed to explain why things turned out that way. Didn't she tell him she loved him?

_"I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you Ross," _

_**'She loves me too!' **_

_"I love you so much but… I can't stay. We can't go down that road again. Not now." _

_**'Why?' **_

_"I know we've been through a lot, although it's different now… we have Emma." _

_**'Isn't that supposed to be good?' **_

_"I don't wanna see the look on Emma's face when we fight, or- or when we can't work things out"' _

_**'Who said we can't work things out?' **_

_"If in the end, we're meant to be then it'll happen, right? But for now, let's just leave it this way." _

_**'No!'**_

_"I'm so sorry honey…" _

_**'For what? For loving me? Or for leaving me?'**_

He played Rachel's message over and over again everyday for almost a week. He kept analyzing the words, the tone, and her manner of saying it but arrived with nothing. She didn't call after that and got mad and angry with her for making him feel like a piece of crap. He even burnt a picture of them together taken years ago but killed it right before the flame gobbled her up. He silently cursed her for taking his daughter away, and cursed himself for allowing her to do so.

It took weeks for him to genuinely smile at his son's football trophy.

He was a mess… and he knew only Rachel could clean him up.

After that, Ross became numb. He gathered enough courage to visit her and Emma in Paris. Seeing her again made him crumble, but her stress with work made it easier for him to gain strength. It went that way for a few more visits, he and Rachel concealed their true feelings for each other… like always… until they made themselves believe that whatever feeling they shared was gone. That was when he saw the light and started dating a woman in his profession. They had a lot in common, and from that, things just seemed getting brighter. He even told Rachel about her… she didn't seem to be bothered by it so he guessed it was fine.

Rachel's absence was a great advantage for him. He greatly missed Emma, yet he had ways of dealing with that. He called at least thrice a week, often had e-mails of pictures from Rachel and the gang, and benefited from video conferencing.

But now, the light suddenly had streaks of different colors. It became a rainbow with a pot of gold waiting in the end. The only woman he loved was back… and it looked like she wasn't leaving.

* * *

I'm so into this fic now... Haha, now I'm losing focus with school :( Anyway, thanks for your reviews... hope to hear from you more! Enjoy! This is (again) one of my favorite chapters! 


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"I love you," her parting words echoed in his head.

He seemed so distant from Catherine lately. Ross didn't reply to her, and she looked so upset but he really didn't feel the need to do so. From the door, he looked past Catherine as she left and saw Rachel approaching Central Perk. She stopped and greeted Catherine. Then a breeze went by Ross, he suddenly had the urge to shout, "I love you too."

Catherine looked back, smiled at him and waved.

Rachel on the other hand looked at Catherine, then at Ross, and placed a hand on her chest and smiled, as if saying 'how sweet!' She chatted with Catherine for a few more seconds then went to Central Perk.

Ross couldn't stop looking at them... he felt like a fisherman, with his legs on two different boats. When Rachel was approaching him, he instantly looked away and just looked at her again when she was in front of him.

She smiled, said 'hi' then entered the coffeehouse.

He smiled back, closed his eyes and smelled her perfume, merged with her infamous coconut-scented shampoo. Then he followed her in like a bubble floating on air, trailing behind her golden hair.

"Could you be any more obvious?" Chandler loudly whispered after Rachel left for the bathroom.

"Huh?" Ross confusedly asked.

"Ross, your eyes could've just popped out and followed her to the bathroom!"

Ross looked down.

"Man, are you okay?"

Monica paid attention to them both, "Ross?" she asked after hearing no reply.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," he admitted, "I just can't stop staring!"

"Are you thinking of her naked?" Chandler asked.

Monica shot him a look, "Chandler!"

"What? If Joey says it, it's fine. But when I say it, it's not."

Ignoring her husband's sarcastic remark, Monica turned to Ross, "How long has this been going on?"

"I don't know.. Three weeks? Four weeks?" he replied.

Monica, remembering her talk with Rachel that long ago, nodded as if she knew nothing.

"Did she see me looking at her?"

"I don't know, man. But you better shut up cause she's coming." Chandler bounced back on the couch and widely smiled at Rachel.

Rachel came back and happily sat on the arm chair. "What?" she asked them, sensing a conversation that went on.

"Nothing," Chandler answered, "Ross was just talking about some naked woman he imagined."

Rachel shot Ross a disgusted look, "Eeew!"

Evilly eying Chandler, Ross changed the subject, "So how's Emma?"

"My mom said she just slept."

"Wow, she didn't look for you tonight?"

"She did… she and my mom had an argument because she wanted to go home, but eventually she fell asleep."

Ross traced the sadness in her voice… Emma was her life. "At least you have the night off!"

"Yeah… but there's nothing to do on a Thursday night! I'll probably just watch TV then sleep."

"Then let's all go out!" Ross blurted all of a sudden.

"All?" Monica asked.

"Yeah! You, me, Rach, Chan, Phoebe and Mike!"

"O-kay," Rachel agreed.

"Mon and I can't! We have a dinner with my 'dad'," Chandler butted in making air quotations, "which I would love to ditch but can't."

"I remember Phoebe can't either, she's ovulating and-"

"and we don't need to hear the rest of that!", Ross cut her sister.

"Well Rach, it's just you and me!", Ross said.

Rachel looked at Monica who was glaring at her, then at Ross with his puppy eyes. "I'm fine with that!" she smiled at him.

* * *

It was a beautiful evening. The moon was full and the children's laughter along Central Park seemed like music. Ross and Rachel quietly walked side by side, admiring the view while walking to the cinema. 

"Ross?" she began, breaking the silence.

"Hm?" he replied.

"Emma told me yesterday that she wanted a baby brother."

"What?" Ross confusedly asked.

"I said Emma told me she wanted a baby brother."

"Why, why, why did she ask that?"

"Apparently her classmate just had a baby brother… and she wants one too."

"First, it was sex. Now, babies? Are we sure Emma's in the right school?" He asked, half-joking, half-serious.

"Ross, both stories came from the same friend. Her parents must've explained why her mom was pregnant… and well now she has a baby brother."

"Okay, okay. What did you say to her?"

"I said she had Ben as her brother…"

"…and?"

"And she frowned…"

"…and?"

"And then I changed the subject. I mean, what's there to say to her?"

Ross paused, creating an uncomfortable silence. "Emma's growing faster than I thought."

"I know," Rachel agreed, silently thanking him for replying.

The theater was a few yards away. Ross stopped in his tracks upon seeing Catherine with her girl friends.

'_Of all people to see!_' he told himself. "Wait," he said, holding Rachel back.

"What?"

"It's Catherine."

"Where?" she began to look around.

"She's in front of the ticket booth."

"Oh, let's say hi!"

"No," he immediately replied.

"Um… you wanna eat instead?"

Sensing his uneasy reaction, Rachel nodded her head.

"Great. Tavern on the Green?"

"Okay," she smiled.

* * *

Tavern on the Green… Rachel hasn't heard that name in years. It used to be their favorite restaurant as a couple, and had too many memories either of them could remember. 

There was this one time, Ross and Rachel decided to go on a date to celebrate Rachel's new job at Bloomingdale's. It was one of the best dates they ever had. After meeting Rachel on her first day in Bloomingdales, Ross treated Rachel a sumptuous, fine dinner in Tavern on the Green. The entire night, all Rachel did was teasing him. She began after the waiter took their order. Gently tracing her Ross' thigh with her hand, he quivered in surprise. Rachel had a sensual gaze and Ross tried his best to avoid it.

She looooved teasing him, and he hated it because she was damn good at it!

_"Honey, I wouldn't do that if I were you," _Ross pleaded.

_"And why?"_ she shot back.

_"I can't-" _cleared his throat when Rachel approached a vital part, _"You know I can't handle that…" _

_"But honey I'm not doing anything bad," _pouting at him like a little child, then continued to stroke his thigh.

Ross began to frown, _"Rachel, it's not funny anymore," _trying to be serious.

_"__I'm sorry baby, I thought you'd enjoy it."_, she whispered to his ear, playing along with his seriousness, gliding her hand to his zipper.

_"Rachel!" _he screamed.

People around them looked at him. _"I love you!"_ he retorted, forcing a smile.

Rachel giggled, _"I love you too honey." _

_"Rachel, I swear if you don't stop, I'm gonna… I'm gonna-" _

_"You're gonna what?" _kissing her still boyfriend at the back of his ear.

Ross began to breathe deeper, _"Honey please? I'm begging you."_

Rachel evilly smiled.

_"Fine, you'll pay for this,"_ Ross squinted.

The waiter came and brought their food. The whole meal, Ross tried not to look at his enticing girlfriend. She started with eating the cherry in her cocktail drink, circling it first then slowly biting it off the stem. Ross, then again, was groaning… although Rachel removed her hand from his thigh, her eyes remained fixated on his, making her every move graceful and luring.

Finally, Ross gave up and laid his fork down. _"Let's go," _he announced.

_"Now?"_ she replied, gesturing at her remaining slab of beef.

_"Yes. Just have it wrapped." _

_"But honey, I'm still hungry." _

_"No, we're going!"_ he demanded.

_"Ross-"_

Before knowing it, Ross grabbed the plate from her place and called a waiter to have it wrapped.

_"No," _he shot her a look.

The bill came several minutes later. After leaving the payment, he grabbed Rachel's hand and went outside the restaurant.

_"I wanna walk," _she whined while he hailed a cab.

_"What are you doing to me?"_

_"Nothing… Ross, the apartment's a few blocks away. Hailing a cab at this hour will take longer." _

_"Okay fine!" _He held her hand and began walking.

Mischievous Rachel was walking slower than him, gently rubbing his palm with her thumb.

Ross was perspiring despite the cold weather. He couldn't control himself any longer and thought of the only way he could get back. He stopped walking, pulled her close to him and grabbed her face. Hastily, his lips approached hers which took her by surprise. _"You're gonna pay for this," _Ross frantically said, and kissed her hard, leaving Rachel moaning and gasping for air.

Successfully, hegot her in the same situation he was in. She needed him at that moment, but her apartment was still a few blocks away. _"Ross,"_ she groaned, _"hail a cab!" _

He simply laughed at her then hailed a cab.

Gratefully, one was vacant. Not long from then, they were making love like animals inside her bedroom.

* * *

Rachel snapped out of her thoughts when she spotted Ross staring at her. '_Was he thinking of the same thing too?_' she asked herself. That date at Tavern on the Green was too good of a memory to forget. 

"So, are you up for _Surf and Turf _tonight?" he asked.

She smiled at him, making him smile back at her. It was the exact meal they had that night. '_Maybe he was thinking of the same thing_.' "You bet I am," she gladly replied.

* * *

After a sumptuous dinner, Ross brought Rachel back to her apartment. 

"Thanks for dinner, Ross."

"No problem," he replied. He paused, gazing at her lovingly.

She paused as well, returning his amorous stare.

His lips suddenly approached hers, silently hoping for her reply... but Rachel, taken by surprise with his advance, froze.

Realizing her stillness, Ross stepped back, looking down. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry!"

Rachel was speechless.

He rubbed his face with his hands, embarrassed of what he did. Then suddenly, "Okay you know what, I'm taking it back."

"What?" Rachel asked.

"I said I'm taking it back. I'm not sorry. In fact, you should be the one sorry."

"What? You can't just come into my home, kiss me, and think that it's MY FAULT," raising her voice.

Ross stared at her. His face was steaming with anger and lament. "God, why of all people did I have to fall for you?"

Rachel was astonished with his rage.

"I'm not a rock, Rachel. It took me years to get over you. Not even… it took me a lifetime. And now that I've found someone who loves and cares for me, you decide to come back."

"How is that my fault?" she managed to say in between tears.

"Because you still love me," he simply replied, looking her straight in the eye.

Rachel gasped, "What?"

"I've known you for too long, I've loved you for a lifetime… I think I would know, Rach."

She gazed into his eyes, trying to find something other than anger but found nothing. "What do you want me to do, Ross? Go back to Paris?"

"Why didn't you stay Rach? Better yet, Why didn't you just stay here? Why didn't you give us a chance?"

"Ross-"

"Don't tell me you were scared because that's not enough."

"I **was** scared, Ross. It's not just us now… we have Emma. I didn't want her to-"

"To what? To have a happy family?"

"How the hell would you know?" she finally snapped.

"Rachel, I would give anything and everything to make **us** work."

"That's the thing, Ross- it's **us**. It's either we give too much or nothing at all… whatever happens, we always end up hurting each other. I loved you more than you think I have… but for some reason, things just keep us apart. And I'm tired of getting hurt."

"Well so am I, Rach. I hurt everyday knowing that you're not with me or- or that you're with someone else is." He tried to calm down,"But I guess you're right… whatever happens, something always has to keep us apart." With that, tears started to form. He looked at **his** Rachel who was alreadyweeping by the wall.

He began twisting the doorknob, but before leaving, he looked at her one last time… "I'm getting married Rach. I proposed to Catherine a month ago," and left.

Rachel couldn't look at him, or at anything for that matter. She bawled, collapsing on the floor, thinking of the decision she had done. She shouldn't have left.

The pang of pain… It had to happen again.

* * *

It took longer than expected, but at least I had time despite my busy schedule! I hope you enjoyed reading this. Be generous with reviews, I just can't get enough of them) 


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Confused, miserable and worn-out from crying, Rachel stood up and sat on the couch. It's been hours since Ross left. She couldn't stop blaming herself for leaving… she couldn't think of what to do next. Everything seemed dark and she couldn't see a bright tunnel ahead. It was as if the whole world weighed her down. The phone rang. She just stared at it, waiting for the machine to pick it up…

"Rach…" **Ross**. "I'm sorry." A long pause… her hand seemed too heavy to lift the handset. He deeply sighed, waiting for her to talk to him. "I don't know what else to say… please pick up the phone." Still no reply… "I shouldn't have accused you… I just love you too much. Rachel pick up the phone, please. Talk to me." _Beep_.

She curled into a ball, crying with no tears to shed. The phone rang and the machine picked it up again. On the other line, Ross sighed and hung up.

She replayed the remaining memory of the message she left Ross three years ago…

_"I love you so much but… I can't stay. We can't go down that road again. Not now. I know we've been through a lot, although it's different now… we have Emma. I don't wanna see the look on Emma's face when we fight, or- or when we can't work things out. If in the end, we're meant to be then it'll happen, right?" _

It made so much sense that night. She felt right leaving him the message... but what just happened now never occurred to Rachel. How could she be so selfish, thinking of what only she felt? She was too afraid, and now that fear ruined not only her life, but Ross and Emma's too.

The phone rang once more. "Rach?" Monica inquired, hearing the beep of the machine. "I'm just checking if you're home already… and I wanted to ask how your 'date' went. Oh my go- please don't play this if Ross' there!" there was a long pause, "Bye!" Rachel finally smiled, and thinking the next caller was Monica, she decided to pick up the phone as it rang.

"Hello?" she greeted, with her hoarse voice.

"_Rach?_" it wasn't Monica.

"Ross?"

"_Hey. Finally you picked it up._" hearing no reply, he continued, "_I'm sorry Rach. I wasn't- I wasn't thinking… whatever happened wasn't your fault. If things didn't work out between us, Emma would get hurt and_-"

"But what if things did work out, Ross?"

"_We really can't tell Rach. Look at us now…For a decade, we've been hurting each other the same way. You were right, it's either we exert too much effort in loving each other, or none at all._"

"I still gave up. There could've been a chance."

"_Hey, hey… Maybe it's just not right for us to be together. It's enough that we loved each other… and we have Emma to remember the happiness that we shared."_

* * *

A few days later, Ross was still worn out after speaking with Rachel. He felt so lifeless. It was clear, they loved each other too much, but that was all time had to offer. He was getting married again… although Catherine wasn't the 'love of his life,' he'd rather be with her if he couldn't be with Rachel.

Thinking of his fiancée sent shivers down his spine… he felt like he was cheating on her… and on himself.

Suddenly, there was a knock.

Opened the door… and found Rachel standing behind it, holding his jacket. "You left this last Saturday when you picked up Emma," she softly spoke and forced a smile, "Is Emma ready?."

Ross nodded, "She just fell asleep."

Rachel checked her watch. Realizing it was nearly 9pm, she opted to apologize, "I'm sorry for taking long- I had a tough day at work and we-"

Ross cut her, "It's fine Rach. I should actually thank you for leaving her with me."

She smiled, hoping that the tension between them would just disappear.

"Anyway, we should get going. It's late!" She headed to Ross's spare room he remodeled for Emma.

"Rach," he called, after much hesitation.

Just before entering the room, she looked back at him and replied, "Yeah?"

He stared at her, finding the words to say. "Can we- can we talk?"

She nodded and sat on his couch.

He sat beside her. And feeling her presence next to him, he wanted to grab her and hug her tight as if she was his. "Rach," he began.

"I'm so sorry Ross. I don't know what else to say to you except that I'm really sorry. Whether or not leaving was a mistake, I hurt you."

"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one to talk here," he smiled at her.

She grinned and heavily sighed. Heart-wrenched, she gazed at the brown eyes that sucked the life out of her. What was that chemistry that ignited every time they were together? Why can't she just move on and forget about him, like what she did with the other men in her life! Nobody told her that walking into that man in the coffeehouse years ago would completely change her life.

Returning her gaze, Ross gave himself every right to fall for her at that moment. She wasn't just pretty, she was **beautiful**. The way she looked, the way she thought, the way she took care of Emma, the way she made him feel… she was just exceptional and she was everything he ever wanted. That kept her apart from all the other women, and he knew that she was irreplaceable.

None of them wanted to ruin the mutual communication they shared. Neither Ross nor Rachel looked away. It felt right for them both, and no one was there to know, see or hear what they were feeling for each other… except maybe for the mute walls that surrounded them.

They closed their eyes as their lips approached each other… guided by the sight of what they felt. A few inches apart, Ross could feel Rachel's deep exchange of breaths. He gently opened his eyes and whispered, "Say you love me?"

Keeping her eyes closed, she smiled and softly replied, "You know I do."

Time stopped while their hearts raced… Ross gently caressed her face, feeling the warmth of her burning cheeks, while Rachel savored the moment thereupon.

It was a mutual understanding… a connection only they were familiar with.

He finally kissed her. First, her upper lip followed by her lower lip. Then he kept it there, waiting for the love of his life to slowly reciprocate his gesture. Feeling her tongue initiate a dance with his, he proceeded to her mouth.

Enigmatically passionate, he managed to say in between their fervent exchange with his panting breath, "Rach, I can't live without you."

She halted, opened her eyes and watched him pull apart from her to shed tears. "Ross…" she stroked his cheek, wiping the tears aways, at the same time feeling both the love and pain that they shared.

He took her hand from his cheek and kissed it.

After much pondering on the situation, she removed her hand from his. "I should go."

He stared at her with his puppy eyes telling her to stay… and they grounded her to the couch.

He repeated it once more, "I can't live without you. I can't live not loving you." He paused. "Even if I can't be with you, at least allow me feel this way for you…"

"Ross…" she slowly whispered, painfully enamored with the whole situation.

He wiped the tear that threatened to fall at the corner of her eye, "Shhh… Just for one last time, Rach. Let's follow our hearts…"

Without hesitation, she nodded.

That was it… his sincerity, his genuineness… He accepted her for who she was, and who she wanted to be… and so did she. Though they both knew that fulfilling their dream of being together was next to impossible, that didn't stop them from loving each other... and they had one last night to physically express it to one another.

* * *

Sorry for the late update! School and everyhting kept me stressed:) But anyway, my friend 'inspiration' came back and allowed me to continue this lovely story. Watch out for the next chapter- which I will upload really soon since I'm writing it right now. If you wanna know what it's about, read the last few words of this chapter ;) 

Thanks for all your reviews, although I wouldn't mind if you left more ) Heehee!


	9. Chapter 8

This chapter is rated **R.** Hope you enjoy it ) Don't forget to leave a review afterwards... I'll try to update it soon

* * *

"_Ross…" she slowly whispered, enamored with the whole situation. _

_He wiped the tear that threatened to fall at the corner of her eye, "Shhh… Just for one last time, Rach. Let's follow our hearts…" _

_Without hesitation, she nodded._

_That was it… his sincerity, his genuineness… He accepted her for who she was, and who she wanted to be… and so did she. Though they both knew that fulfilling their dream of being together was next to impossible, that didn't stop them from loving each other... and they had one last night to physically express it to one another._

**Chapter 8**

He kissed her once more…

Passion. Lust. Love. Years of anticipation rewarded by a moment so intimate, it left breathless at every pause.

Finally, they parted. Drowned with the scent of passion, Ross refused to open his eyes and rested his lips at the nape of her neck.

Rachel opened her eyes, drunk too with the intoxicating feeling of ardor surrounding them. "Honey," a word she wanted to say for so long.

Suddenly they felt like being in another dimension, another world which was sorrounded with freedom. Limitations happily disappeared.

He smiled upon hearing her sweet remark and looked up at her, "Yeah?"

"I haven't had sex since I left for Paris," she started to make fun of herself, "and my hormones are driving me ballistic."

He chuckled. It wasn't something he wanted to hear after a heart-wrenching situation... but hearing her desperation made him want her more.

In an instant, he cupped her face and rewarded her with an intense kiss. And at that instant, Catherine was completely deleted from his thoughts.

He kissed her lips, then the nape of her neck, tasting her beads of sweat.

She reclined onto the couch, placing herself beneath him.

He pressed himself against her, making her softly moan his name. From her neck, his lips trailed down to her chest while unbuttoning the long sleeves she had on. Then his hands went beneath her back and ran down to her bottom, at the same time unzipping her skirt.

She was in heaven.

Trying to release the pleasure she felt, she grasped onto his hair in a painless manner, saying his name over and over again.

He was happy to please her… but by the time his lips reached her lower region, the combination of passion, love, lust and desire was too much not to explode. Rachel fought hard not to scream; he fought hard not to ruin the art of love making. He always knew that sex was different from making love… and with Rachel, it was never having sex. Yet their time spent apart made him want her crazily… and it was difficult not to express it.

Ross finally picked her up, as she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Their lips were glued to one another and it was difficult not to stumble upon anything.

When they reached his bedroom, Ross pressed her against the door as it shut loud. Rachel chuckled, telling him that might wake up their little angel in the other room.

He smiled, thinking of how his dream could happen- even just for one night. In one house, they were all there. Emma was asleep in her room, while her parents made love in 'theirs.'

Escaping the sadness that would soon follow his thought, Ross went back to Rachel.

While he kissed her, she managed to unbutton his shirt… thank God they were both in button downs. She caressed his shoulders, his arms and his chest. Eventually, the button led her down to his pants.

Memories filled her mind while undressing him… Ross was always 'up and about' when they were both ready to make love.

Hungry for each other, she decided to finally unbutton his pants. They stopped kissing and Rachel laid her feet down from Ross' waist so he could properly remove his jeans.

She laughed, seeing the bulge in his cotton boxers. He glared at her, finally giving up to the slothfulness of the situation. He grabbed her hand and led her to the bed, positioning himself on top of her. He removed her undergarments, leaving her stripped naked beneath him.

Before anything else, he grabbed a condom inside the drawer of his nightstand and nervously attempted to open it.

Rachel chuckled at the sight of it and helped him. When they succeeded, he removed his boxers and placed the condom.

Her eyes were fixated on his. Before doing anything else, he kissed her and whispered, "I love you."

Moaning as she felt him slowly enter, she made known to the world, "I love you too."


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Ending a few hours before the break of dawn, they were as exhausted as anything… but neither of them wanted to sleep.

Rachel, who was on Ross chest with her head next to his, felt the warmth of his body and his arms around her. She looked up at him and smiled, missing that sense of security and tenderness only Ross could give.

"Stay," Ross softly said, "I don't want to wake up and not find you next to me."

They both knew that night was it. The next day, life will go on… Ross will be Ross, and Rachel will still be Rachel. They will continue to live as if nothing happened; pursuing their duties and responsibilities, settling with the fact that time was against them.

It was painful for them both, but that was what life had to offer. They couldn't be together… even though their love for each other was strong, it wasn't strong enough to face the boundaries of life.

She looked at him and gave him a peck on the lips, "I have to go in a while. Emma can't wake up and find me next to you."

The happiness Ross had moments ago disappeared. Reality just kicked in.

"Don't sleep at least."

"I won't," she looked at him intently and tried to lighten up the situation, "but I'm tired."

He chuckled, kissing her nose. "You never change, Rach."

"Ross, we started before midnight!" she defended, "don't tell me you're still up for that?"

"I'm worn out too, but if this would be my last night with you, I'd tire myself to death."

She gaped at him, realizing what he just said… it **was** their last night together. In a period of time, he'd be married to someone else… again…

Rachel sat up and faced him, then planted a soft kiss on his lips. "I'd go if you go," she sadly joked, forcing a smile but feeling the tears form in her eyes. Ross reciprocated her kiss as she straddled her legs above him.

As tired as they could have been… they went for one **last** time.

Was it really the best way to say goodbye? Years ago, it worked at first for Rachel and didn't for Ross. What about this time?

* * *

Rachel sadly left at the break of dawn. 

Time, once again, played the culprit. Knowing the restrictions for the rest of their lives, neither of them wanted time to pass. They wanted it to freeze - even just once – and begged it to be on their side.

Ross curled into a ball on his bed. He suddenly felt so cold, so lonely without her beside him. Unable to close his eyes, he stared at the wall, silently asking God to take away the pain he felt.

Emma peeked in her father's room and presumed him asleep, seeing the stillness of his back. She slowly crept to the bed and snuggled next to him.

Ross felt her wrap her arms around him. He smiled, turning to face her. She reminded him so much of Rachel… her big blue eyes opened wide when she found out he was awake, and her red cherry lips, which she also got from her mom, beamed.

"Hi daddy!" she cheerfully greeted him.

"Hi baby," kissing her forehead as he tried to hide the sadness he felt.

"I thought mommy was gonna pick me up last night?"

"She came by, but she saw you sound asleep on your bed. She didn't want to wake you anymore!"

Emma stared at her father, nodding her head. "I wanna go to the zoo!"

"Okay, that sounds fine with me! When do you want me to take you?"

"Later!"

"Sweetie, you have class!"

She nodded, "Can we go after?"

He didn't want to disappoint his daughter, but he had to meet his fiancée that afternoon. "How about on Sunday?" Ross suggested.

Emma's excitement disappeared, "I'm staying over Gramma's house." She referred to Sandra Green as 'gramma,' a term that was supposed to be 'grandma.' She had trouble saying it as a child,but eventually got used to sayinggramma as she grew.

"How about tomorrow?"

She shook her head.

Ross tried to think of a way to appease her, but before he could say anything else, Emma told him, "It's okay daddy. I had fun yesterday anyway. I'll just see you next week!"

He embraced his little angel, whispering to her ear, "I'm sorry baby. I'll make it up to you, I promise!"

She simply smiled at him and turned the television on, then switched the channel to Nickelodeon. Her father stared at her while she watched, lost in thought.

"Daddy?" she called without removing her eyes from the television, "What time's mommy coming?"

"She's picking you up after school, honey."

Emma frowned.

Upon seeing this, Ross sat up, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she answered without looking at her father.

"Honey, I know something's bothering you."

She sighed and faced Ross, "How come we don't spend time together like Erica and Jack?"

"We hang out on Saturdays and Sundays," Ross reasoned out, "don't you want that?"

"I do, but…" she trailed off. "But I want you and mommy with me all the time, daddy," she sadly sighed, hugging her dad.

Ross kissed her head closing his eyes, "I'm sorry baby. Mommy and I will really try, okay?" Ross closed his eyes and felt even more pain. He wanted to give what Emma asked for, he just wasn't sure how. Especially with their situation now, being with her pretending everything was okay would be hard.

* * *

The few weeks that passed weren't as awkward as Ross and Rachel expected. In fact, for some weird reason they became closer. She enjoyed his presence, even in a friendly way. Rachel didn't even mind having Catherine around. 

Emma was delighted with the family atmosphere that surrounded her. And she was thankful that for whatever reason her parents had, they got along really well. Ross would sometimes stay over during their Saturday bonding night, ending up asleep on the couch. It went on for a few weeks until one fateful Sunday morning; Ross got home and found himself in trouble.

Apparently, Catherine noticed the closeness Ross and Rachel had. She didn't know what happened between them, but the thought of their togetherness scared her. She adored Emma, but she knew Ross and Rachel had a history and in her opinion, the Rachel was irreplaceable.

* * *

"Ross," Catherine sternly greeted as he entered his apartment one Sunday morning.

He obviously slept over Rachel's because he was wearing the same clothes as the night before.

"Hey," he closed the door, surprised seeing her on the couch.

"Why just now?"

He went to kiss her but she refused.

"I'm sorry babe, I was at Rachel's. I told you about it, remember?"

"You told me about it last **night**, Ross."

"Yeah – " "And the sun's up."

Ross plopped down the couch next to her and scratched his head, "Are we gonna fight about this again?"

"Then why did you do it again?"

"Do what? Spend time with my daughter?"

"Ross, you've been with them all day, and we'll be with them this whole day too. You have Emma sometimes during the weekdays, why else should you sleepover?"

"Catherine, Emma needs me and Rachel with her."

"Wasn't yesterday, last Friday and Wednesday enough? Or do you want me to count the days last week too?"

True it was his fault… he just was too attached to the feeling too much.

He sighed and faced his crying fiancée, "I'm sorry."

Catherine looked up, "I'm sorry too… it's just that I wanted to tell you last night that I finally found a wedding planner and-" she sobbed.

Ross hugged her tight, claming her down. "That's great babe." He closed his eyes, trying to erase the thoughts in his mind.

As they broke, Catherine wiped her tears. "I'm sorry Ross. It's just that Rachel makes me feel really jealous and-"

"Why?" he cut her.

"Because I know you had feelings for her and you have Emma together. I mean you had a history of-"

"Cath, I'm with you. I'm marrying you. I love **you**," he told her.

'_I love **you**.' _he convinced himself.

Catherine smiled and hugged him, giving him a passionate kiss which he responded to, but broke off after a few seconds.

* * *

Catherine loved Ross so much. It was a selfish thing to say that she wanted him for herself but it was her heart, and only she had to deal with it. 

Ross and Catherine had many fights about spending too much time with Emma and Rachel… in public or in private, it didn't matter.

Ross, on the other hand, was afraid to lose Catherine. He loved her, although not _in_ _love_ with her. Why? Because she was selfless towards him on other things. She was the only woman who gave everything to Ross. He was even scared, because she sometimes made it seem that she loved him more than she loved herself.

* * *

This chapter took longer than usual although I'll upload the next one soon! I hope you enjoyed it :) I'm a sucker for reviews so if you have time, do leave me one :) 


	11. Chapter 10

**Okay, this update took really long. Sorry for that! I'm in a stitch once again,I honestly don't know how Ross and Rachel will work things out. A million ideas are in my head... but it would be easier if they don't. But of course, I won't do that:) Or will I? Haha Read on...**

**

* * *

Chapter 11 **

Months passed since Ross and Rachel had their 'last night' together, and they just saw less and less of each other. Catherine, Ross's fiancée, had an obvious feeling of insecurity towards her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. Knowing why Catherine and Ross often fought, Rachel decided for herself to stay away from them. Why else should she still follow her heart when it was over between them?

The one person most affected by the turnout of events was Emma. Ross and Rachel did the complete opposite of what she wanted... the Saturdays they had altogether decreased as well, and that just made things worse. Rachel just reasoned out that either she or Ross were busy on the nights they were supposed to be together. And every time Rachel would see her daughter sad because of that, she would run to her room and cry, regretting everything she had done.

Monica noticed how Emma changed the past few months. She wasn't the child she used to be when she and Rachel returned from Paris. Although Emma was still the polite and thoughtful darling Ross and Rachel had, she was no longer ever so bubbly and spirited little girl who was always in a hyperactively happy mood. It was a difficult situation for them all, but she knew that her goddaughter found solace if not with both her parents, with her cousins' family. Known to Rachel as well, Monica often found them over at their home.

* * *

"I don't know what to do, Mon… I mean, her grades are going down and – " Rachel began to cry.

Monica hugged her best friend, "Aw Rach, kids really go through that." "But not Emma."

Rachel took a deep breath,"She was always an A student, even in Paris! I know how smart she is, Mon. But this whole fucking situation with me and her father is making her lose her concentration!"

Being a Sunday afternoon, it was a date with the gang. Until recently, Ross occasionally joined them and Catherine always tagged along.

Monica rubbed Rachel's back as she cried on her shoulder. The kids were playing at the lawn up front, while the two women were preparing the food. Chandler was setting up the grill for the barbecue, waiting for Ross, Phoebe and Mike who were on their way.

"Have you talked to him about this?" Monica asked. She shook her head and sobbed.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" Emma said, as she slowly entered the kitchen, carrying her cousin's teddy bear.

Rachel sat up and recollected herself, wiping her tears, "Nothing honey, I was just telling Aunt Mon how nice the movie was last night," she lied.

Monica went back to the kitchen counter and pretended to tear, "I know! Now I wanna see it!"

Emma looked up at them funnily and climbed onto Rachel's lap, hugging her really tight, "It's okay mommy."

Rachel kissed Emma's head, "Are you hungry already?"

Emma shook her head, "No, I just wanted to stay with you."

Rachel smiled at her daughter and kissed her head once more. Emma whispered to her ear, "I love you mommy."

"I love you too sweetie," she gratifyingly replied.

Monica smiled at them both… it was a heart-warming scene. Tears literally fell down her cheeks.

Seeing her Aunt crying, Emma sat up, "Why are you crying aunt Mon?"

Monica started fanning her eyes, "I just really want to see that movie!"

* * *

Phoebe and Mike finally arrived. They had a wonderful lunch prepared at Monica and Chandler's garden.

Chandler, handing Mike the plate of corn, smirked and said, "I'll bet you they'll still be corn tomorrow!"

"Eeew, Chandler!" Monica squealed.

Mike simply laughed, "Fine. I'll give them to you for proof!"

"Mike!" Rachel and Phoebe screamed, completely grossed out.

Emma came running to her mom and sat on her lap. "What do you want, sweetie?"

Emma buried her face on Rachel's chest and shook her head.

A few seconds later, Ross came in holding Catherine's hand. "Hey guys!"

All heads on the table turn to them. "Hey!" "Hi Ross," they greeted. Rachel looked back at Emma who refused to look at her father.

"Hi Ems!" he went near her, releasing Catherine's hand… yet that didn't stop her from following him. She trailed behind with a smile plastered on her face.

"Baby what's wrong?" he patted her back. Noticing no response, he turned to Rachel, "Is she feeling okay?"

"Honey, are you okay?" Rachel asked Emma but had no reply either. Rachel felt her daughter's hug tighten, "I think she's just sleepy."

Ross nodded his head and kissed Emma's hair.

Rachel then excused herself and carried Emma inside the house. She sat on the couch and cupped her daughter's face to look at her as she still hugged her mother tight. "Sweetie, are you feeling okay?"

Emma finally looked up with tears welling up in her eyes.

"Hey, why are you crying?" Rachel suddenly felt sorry for her little one.

Emma buried her face on her mother's chest once more, muffling an answer.

Rachel sighed, "Ems mommy can't understand you. I want you to tell me what's wrong so that we can fix it."

Emma looked back up, while Rachel wiped the tears that have stained her face. "Is daddy getting married to her?" she asked.

_Uh-oh…_

Rachel sadly smiled, "Did daddy tell you that?" She shook her head, "Erica did. Catherine -"

"Aunt Catherine," Rachel corrected.

"Aunt Catherine told Erica that she and I are gonna be her flower girls."

"When?" Rachel asked, although she already knew about the wedding that was being planned.

"Erica saw them when they entered but Aunt Catherine went to the bathroom first so she ran to me and told me."

"Did daddy see you?"

Emma shook her head and cried again. "Don't you want daddy to get married?"

Rachel wiped her tears. "I do."

"Then why are you crying?" she sympathetically asked as Emma hugged her again, hiding her face.

"Because I want him to marry you!" she cried louder.

Yet it was a bit muffled, Rachel understood every word she said. She didn't have to hear it because her heart knew it too well.

Ross cleared his throat, making known his presence in the room. Emma suddenly looked up and wiped her tears.

"Hi," he softly greeted them.

"How- how long were you standing there?" Rachel nervously asked.

"Long enough," he sighed.

Emma embraced Rachel and hid her face at the crook of her neck.

"Baby?" Ross stroked his daughter's hair, kneeling beside her and Rachel. He looked up at Rachel who had tears in her eyes as well.

"I think I should leave you two," she said to him.

"No!" Emma suddenly protested, gripping tighter.

"Hey," Ross gently greeted, seeing her face with tears running down her cheeks, "Are you okay?"

She frowned and looked at her mom and dad, "Why can't you two be like Aunt Monica and Uncle Chandler?"

"Baby we talked about this, remember?" Rachel said, recalling the explanation why she and Ross weren't together and why they had Saturdays with all three of them together.

"Yeah but why weren't we together last night? Or last week? Like before?"

Rachel sighed and gestured Ross to reply, "Ems it's just that we're always busy."

"Why don't we spend time today? You're not busy!"

"Baby, that's why I'm here, see? Mommy's here," he pointed to Rachel, "and so am I."

Emma grunted, "But Catherine's here," she replied completely disregarding the term 'aunt.'

"Don't you like her?" Ross sweetly asked, trying not to sound upset.

"I do."

"Then-"

She cut her father, "But I want **my** mommy with you and me." With that, she buried her face again.

Ross looked up at Rachel sadly. She, in response, mouthed that she would talk to Emma about it.

"Ems," Ross called her. She turned her head, still leaning on Rachel's chest to face him.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, wiping the tears that stained her cheek.

Emma looked up at her mommy, then at Ross and then eventually buried her face again. 'Sorry' was always the case, but this time she learned not to forgive by saying 'it's okay…' because it wasn't.

Rachel mouthed something to Ross again and he left.

She cradled her baby back and forth, whispering to her ear "We're so sorry," and she couldn't help but weep. It was the first time she had seen Emma that way, showing to them both about how upset she was with their situation, and again, Rachel blamed herself.

* * *

Less than an hour later, Monica entered and found her goddaughter being cradled by her best friend. No longer was Emma's face buried in Rachel's chest but she was looking down.

"Hi," Monica whispered as she came behind Rachel.

Rachel glanced at her and smiled, "Hey."

"Is Emma okay?"

Rachel checked on Emma, "She's feeling better," whispering in reply.

Monica nodded, "Are you okay?"

Rachel tried her best to smile, and shook her head.

"Emma," Monica knelt down right next to her. The child reacted to her aunt's call and looked up. "Honey would you like to come with me? Jack and Erica are about to watch 'Finding Nemo' in their room and they asked me to call you."

Emma looked up at her mom who nodded her head and smiled, allowing her to go with Monica. "Go on baby, I'll check up on you later."

She finally released the tight grasp she had around her mother's waist. "I love you mommy," she softly told Rachel before going into Monica's arms.

By the time Monica carried Emma out of the room, Rachel fell in tears. She sobbed on the couch, not knowing what to do anymore.

* * *

Ross entered the living room and found Rachel on the couch, staring off space. He sat with her, placed his head in his hands and slowly rubbed his face in frustration. "I dropped Catherine home," Ross spoke.

Rachel turned to look at him. "Is," she cleared her throat, "Is she mad?"

"It doesn't matter," he quickly replied.

"I'm sorry," Rachel sobbed once more.

Ross instantly hugged her, "It's my fault too, Rach."

She broke the hug and looked at him intently, holding both his hands, "Ross, I think I should just go back to Paris."

"What?" he stood up.

"I think it's better if I go back with Emma…"

"No-" Ross frowned.

"Things were so much better when we were there, Ross. Emma was happier."

"I wasn't." Ross began to pace around the room, "I can't let you take her away from me."

"I could come back every month if you want," she sobbed, "I just don't want to see Emma like this."

Rachel had a point. Emma was far from how she used to be, and they had themselves to blame. Yes, it was another difficult decision to make… but it wasn't just about them now, it was about Emma.

Minutes passed… none of them said a thing. Ross kept pacing around the room, and Rachel's eyes followed him everywhere.

He sat on the couch beside her again, massaging his temples, "Are you sure about this?"

She sighed, exhaling her frustration and worries. "I don't know what else to do," Rachel wiped her tears away.

He moved closer and cupped her face, "I don't know if I can live without you and Emma here with me, Rachel." Ross took a deep breath, wiped the tears that were threatening to fall down his cheeks and continued, "But if you have to, then I have no choice but to," he paused staring off space, "to let you go."

* * *

I don't want to promise that my next chapter will be up very soon because as i've said, i'm in a stitch:) Although feel free to suggest/comment about this fic, because I need all the help and motivation I can get:) Thanks! 


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

****

****

"What do you mean you're going back to Paris?" Monica loudly placed down her glass of water, "You can't do that again Rachel."

"Mon, I think it would be better for Emma. To begin with, coming back was a mistake. She's changed, and I'm scared she'll worsen." Rachel tried her best to look supportive with her own idea because Monica was hard to convince. She hoped her reasons would enlighten her best friend.

"Rach, it wasn't coming back that made Emma change. It's the fact that you and her father are not together. Do you think taking her away from Ross would fix that?"

She rubbed her face in frustration. It was noon and the heat penetrating from the tents of the restaurant was hitting her. Perspiration and frustration make the worst combination.

Rachel sighed, "Can we order now?" She handed Monica a menu who gave her a frown in return. Ignoring it, Rachel opened hers and searched for a dish, while her Monica just stared. She noticed it and stopped, shooting her best friend a look, "What?"

"Ugh, nothing…" Monica finally tended to her menu.

"Mon." Rachel grabbed the menu covering her best friend's face.

"What did my brother say about this?"

"He didn't say anything."

"Oh come on Rach, you and I both know he's against this whole idea."

Rachel groaned and rolled her eyes, "Monica, It's not that simple."

"But there's nothing simple, Rach."

Rachel went back to her menu, "Yeah, like talking to you."

"Rach-"

Exasperated, she dropped the menu on the table and heavily sighed, "You know what, It's not easy seeing the man you love everyday holding someone else, carrying the guilt that that someone else could've been you." Her tears began to form, "Every time I see Ross with Catherine, I wanna kick myself for being so stupid to let him go. Every time I hear Emma's cries, pleading for her father to be with us, my heart melts, Monica. If only I can turn back time, I would!" She paused, allowing her tears to stream down her cheeks, "I wish I didn't get on that plane. I wish I didn't accept Mark's offer in Paris. I wish, for once, I did the right thing because everything just seems so wrong."

Monica didn't expect her best friend's sudden outburst. She didn't know what to say or do… should she hug her? Should she pull Rachel out of her chair and bring her to some place they can talk privately? Watching Rachel sob at the other end of the table, Monica decided to reach out for her hand instead. "Sweetie, I'm sorry."

Rachel gripped Monica's hand and smiled despite her tears, "It's okay. It had to come out sometime, right?"

Sympathy. Monica stood up and hugged her tight, "Do you wanna get out of here?"

She sniffed and wiped her tears, ignoring the many people that watched her minute-long commotion. "I'm actually looking forward to eat the salmon here, you know?" She chuckled, causing Monica to smile.

"Okay, okay." She squeezed her best friend before returning to her seat. "It's on me!"

"Oh," Rachel gushed after blowing her nose, "then I'm getting the sea bass instead!"

Monica glared at Rachel knowing the huge price difference, "Just because I made you cry."

* * *

Ross paced around his room. He watched Emma's chest rise and fall while soundly sleeping on his bed. Just before she slept, she and her father had a conversation… he asked her if she wanted to go back to Paris, and her face brightened up when she replied with another question, _"Are you going back with me and mommy?"_

Hugging her teddy bear really tight, Ross covered her with a thick blanket. Why did things have to be so difficult? Why didn't she stay? Why did he have to be with someone else? Why did he have to love her so much?

"_Why can't you two be like Aunt Monica and Uncle Chandler?" _He recalled one of Emma's accusations that weekend. Why couldn't they be like his sister?

Questions… for so many years, questions were all he had.

"_Ross, I think I should just go back to Paris." _Rachel's suggestion… could he let them go again? If only he could turn back the time, he wouldn't have told her how he felt. He would've followed her to Paris… to prove to her that they could work things out… that she didn't have to fear anything.

Ross sat on the floor and ran his head through his hands. He was getting married!

* * *

The sun came up and Ross found himself lying down on the foot of the bed, with his Emma standing in front of him with a confused look.

"Did you fall?"

Ross immediately stood up and felt the soreness of his muscles all throughout his body. "I think so."

Emma shrugged and beamed at Ross, "What are we doing today?"

"We," Ross began, stretching every ligament he had, "are going shopping?"

She giggled at her father, "You? Shopping?"

"You sound just like your mother!" He picked Emma up and began tickling her.

"Stop!" she pleaded, dying of laughter. "Daddy!"

Ross stopped and let her down, "What's wrong with me shopping?"

"That's mommy's job! Your job is to tell me boring stories about dinosaurs so I can sleep!" Emma reasoned out, jokingly. She saw the look her father had and she knew what he was about to do next; so she dashed to her room and locked the door, before Ross could catch and tickle her once more.

* * *

Rachel opened the door that morning to an unexpected visitor. With Emma in her daddy's house over the weekend, she had planned to sleep in maybe until noon. But all that was ruined when Catherine started knocking on her door. 

"Yeah?" she greeted with her groggy voice as she peeked, not knowing it was her ex-boyfriend's fiancée.

Catherine turned around and plastered a smile, "Hi."

She rubbed her eyes, wondering if she was still asleep.

"Um, can we talk?" Catherine asked a speechless Rachel.

A few seconds later, it dawned unto her. _Wake up!_ She shouted at herself. "Uh," Rachel nodded and ushered Catherine in, "sure."

She realized,seeing her reflection on the doorknob, that she was still in her nighties, wrapped in a robe. "Um… I'm sorry, can you wait for a while? I just have to change cause-"

"It's okay," Catherine cut her, "I won't take long anyway."

Rachel's heart began to beat faster… why on earth would Catherine visit her?

They sat on the couch of the living room. Rachel offered condiments yet Catherine refused. So before Rachel could consider herself palpitating, she decided to break the ice.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Rachel nervously smiled, hoping Ross hadn't told her many things… like that 'night' they recently had, or that conversation about Emma hating Catherine's presence, or...

"Okay, this is awkward…" Catherine chuckled, breaking Rachel's trail of thought. "I heard from Ross that you had plans on going back to Paris…"

Rachel cleared her throat, "Uh, yeah. It just depends when I'll be given the transfer… maybe in months' time."

"Rachel, I just want to go straight to the point… Are you still in love with Ross?"

Caught off-guard, Rachel's eyes bolted as soon as she hears the words 'in love with Ross.'

"Rachel?" Catherine asked once more, in a rather complacent tone.

"I- sorry, what did you, um…" she was stuttering.

"Are you still in love with Ross?"

"I- I don't know how to answer that." Rachel nervously chortled, being suffocated with the tension that surrounded them. "Do you mean like love as a friend? Or, or love as a brother? Or love-"

"Look," Catherine sighed, "I don't care if you still are because I can see it in your eyes. I just wanna hear the truth from you!"

From the floor, Rachel's glare slowly rose to Catherine's eyes. She felt so embarrassed, so evil, so…

"Rach?"

"I'm so sorry Catherine… I didn't mean to. It's just that-"

"Rachel it's okay. It's not your fault!" Catherine smiled. "It's not Ross' fault either."

_Did I just hear Ross' name?_ Rachel thought to herself. "Wha-at?"

"Oh come on, Rachel. I'm neither blind nor stupid. I know what goes on in his heart whenever he's with you…. when he's with me… when he's with Emma."

Rachel took a deep breath. "I'm…" _Sorry again?_ My, she was running out of words.

Catherine placed a hand on Rachel's lap, assuring her that everything was all right. "I've known how Ross felt for you since the day I met him. And to tell you frankly, that's the reason why I'm with him."

"What?" Rachel asked with so much confusion.

"Rachel, I'm sick. I- I have cancer." Catherine softly spoke.

Rachel covered her mouth with her hand. She couldn't believe what this woman was telling her.

Catherine took a deep breath and continued, "Three years ago, I was diagnosed with lymphnotic cancer. I underwent chemotherapy for a few months, but after a year, it came back and…" her voice was already cracking, "and I decided to just let it go."

"Does Ross know about this?" Rachel carefully asked.

"No. Please don't tell him." Satisfied with Rachel's nod, she went on. "When I met Ross, my perception of life changed. All of a sudden, he brought this kind of urge that there was still something to live for… even just for a few more months or years. He made me who I am now… he made me happy. Even though he couldn't equally reciprocate my love for him because of you, it was okay… because he took good care of me. He was my therapy." She paused, "And I figured, it would be easier for him to accept my situation… because his heart was somewhere else. I knew deep inside that he would follow you to Paris, one way or another."

Rachel wiped her tears and Catherine did the same thing.

"But then you came back…" a tinge of sadness filled her voice.

"Cath-" Not knowing what to say, Rachel looked at her with pity and guilt.

Catherine squeezed Rachel's leg, once again assuring her that it was okay. "The very first day I met you, I saw how Ross looked at you and… and I knew from then that you were irreplaceable. It just scared me because I didn't want to lose him too early."

"I'm so sorry," she said, almost like a whisper.

Catherine forced a grin in the midst of her tears, "Rachel, please take care of Ross? I know my time is near… I can feel it. But promise me you'll be here when I go?"

Rachel felt her heart melt. She nodded at Catherine and in reply, Catherine threw her arms around Rachel… embracing her with all her strength.

"Before Ross and I got together, he told me about your entire history and how much he loved you in spite of everything because of the wonderful person that you were... and I honestly thought it was impossible… but after meeting you, he was right all along."

Catherine broke the hug and looked Rachel in the eye with much sincerity, "I know that he loves me; but his love for you is just so different. It's so pure, real and evident in every move he makes. And I know you can make him happy, even more than the way he made me."

Rachel smiled, "Thank you."

"Everyone deserves to be happy, Rachel. Promise me that you'll take care of him? And please, by then, don't be stupid enough to let each other go again!"

"I promise," she chuckled, once again succumbing to Catherine's warm, comforting embrace.

"Don't mention anything to anyone, especially to Ross. I'll tell him when the time comes. I'm not ready to be pitied on yet."

They smiled at one another.

"_Rachel!" _knocks from the door made the two women jump.

"Oh gosh, I think that's Ross." Rachel told Catherine.

"_Mommy!" _Emma screamed at the door.

"Yes it is," Catherine panicked.

"What will we tell him?" Rachel began pacing around the room.

"We- um, we are planning a party for him!"

"But his birthday's not until November."

"Exactly. We're planning a big party for him on November… it needs time to prepare anyway."

"And when November comes without a big party?"

"There was too little time for preparation," Catherine smiled.

"Right," Rachel chuckled. She headed towards the noisy door and glanced at Catherine.

Catherine mouthed, 'I'm ready' to Rachel, wiping the remaining tears in her eyes with a piece of tissue.

Slowly, Rachel unlocked the door and twisted the doorknob.

"Mommy!" Emma squealed, giving her mom a tight hug.

"Emma didn't want to shop with me. She said I didn't know how!" Ross reasoned out to Rachel before entering the apartment. "So what are you doing to-"" he stopped in shock. "Catherine?"

Catherine smiled at him and waved, "Hi honey!"

"What are- what are you doing here?"

"We're planning your big birthday bash on November!"

"November?" Ross went to her and gave her a kiss.

"Yeah," Rachel added, closing the door, still being gripped by Emma who was avoiding the sight of Catherine seated right next to her father.

"I should get going," Catherine stood up. "I still have to finish some errands anyway!"

Ross stood up as well, with a confused look on his face. _Catherine and Rachel?_ "Okay… I'll see you tonight?"

"Yeah," she gave him a peck and hugged Rachel tight before leaving the room. "So I'll see you soon," she told Rachel, then patted Emma's hair before leaving the room, "Bye sweetie."

As soon as she left the room, Ross shifted his gaze to Rachel. "Okay, what- what was Catherine doing here?"

"We told you, we were planning your birthday party."

"On November?"

Rachel rolled her eyes, "you don't want one?"

"Never mind."

Emma weirdly looked at her parents... she couldn't understand grown-ups, they were pretty much like children too. _Just bigger and_ _older, _she thought. "Mommy, what are we doing today?"

"Well, I didn't expect you until late this afternoon so I don't know. What do you wanna do?"

"I wanna go shopping."

"You said you didn't want to!" Ross said, standing up from the couch.

"I didn't want to shop with you," she replied, hiding behind her mother's legs.

Rachel laughed, causing Ross to frown even more. "Sorry. Okay, I'll go get dressed and maybe daddy can come with us so he can learn some shopping tips himself!"

"Really?" Emma gleamed and looked at them both, "Daddy can you come with me and mommy?"

Pretending to be hurt, Ross looked down and replied, "I though you didn't want to shop with me?"

She ran to her daddy and gave him a hug, "I'm not gonna shop with you, I'm gonna be with you!"

Ross looked at his little Emma, she was simply perfect. "Of course I'm going with you and mommy," he smiled at her, placing a kiss on top of her head.

Rachel couldn't help but smile watching their father-and-daughter interaction. "I'm just gonna get ready so we can go." She headed towards the bathroom.

"Don't take **too** long," Ross and Emma chimed, both earning an evil glare from Rachel.

* * *

"Hey, are you okay? You've been quiet." Ross said as he pulled Rachel aside while Emma ran free in the toy store.

"Huh?" He caught her attention. Immediately, she reasoned out, "Yeah, work's been bothering me lately… that's all."

Ross nodded and smiled at her, "Need help with anything?"

"No, no. Not at all!" she quickly replied. She was feeling awful. _Catherine_ _is dying?_ She repeatedly asked herself. Rachel felt so wrong for hating her, when in fact, all she did was love Ross… and now she was dying. Questions plagued her mind. How could Catherine love someone who loved someone else? And how could that someone else be her? And Ross, the man who stood right next to her… the man she slept with… the man who cheated on Catherine with her had no clue of what was about to happen! She wanted to blame herself… but she had no reason why.

"Rach?" Ross called, waking her up from a daze of thought.

"Yeah?"

He arched his eyebrow, "Are you sure you're okay?"

She nodded with a smile, "I didn't have enough sleep. I got home late last night so I can't really process my thoughts well." Liar! She was in bed by midnight, drifting off to a world where anything was possible.

"Oh," Ross voice sounded nervous, "Did you uh- Did you come from a date or something?"

She loved teasing Ross. But this time, it was different. She wanted to say yes-to lie… it seemed so appropriate. Maybe by believing she was moving on, Ross would spend more time with Catherine.

"Rach? Do you need coffee? Your mind seems really slow today." Ross wearied after waiting almost a lifetime for Rachel to reply.

"That actually sounds nice," she said, hoping to have changed the course of their conversation.

"Okay," Ross grinned and looked at his watch, "Emma, knowing that she **is **your daughter, should have chosen a toy by now. Let's just hope she won't think twice and return it!"

Rachel glared at him, "Ha-ha, very funny!"

"I found the dolly I want!" Just on cue, Emma rushed to them carrying a life-size _Bratz _doll.

Having trouble making the box of her height stand, Ross took it from Emma and looked at Rachel. "This is it? This is what she wants?"

"Daddy, her name's Chloe. Don't call her 'it,' she has a name!" Emma pouted, pointing at the letters that spelled 'Chloe' above.

"God, I thought her name was Gladys!" Ross retorted, looking at the doll from head to toe.

Rachel chuckled, remembering Phoebe's famous creation. "Ross, it's not that bad!"

Emma frowned, putting her hands on her hips, "You said I could get any doll I want?"

Rachel laughed at Ross and teased, "I told you not to spoil her."

"Yeah, now she's starting to be like you!" he teased back.

"Hey!" Rachel playfully hit him on the arm.

"I bruise like a peach!" Ross winced. "Honey, are you sure this is the doll you want?" he asked his daughter.

Emma looked up at her father then at her doll with a nervous smile. "Um…"

"Uh-oh," Ross glowered at Rachel, "See what I mean?"

"Um…" Emma continued to think then sighed, "Cause there's this other Chloe but she's in a glamour outfit but her shoes are ugly."

"And what's wrong with this Chloe?" he asked, showing her the doll dressed in casual wear.

Emma took a deep breath, "She's prettier and she has better shoes... and she also has a pair of sunglasses, but the other Chloe has the nicest gown. They're not selling clothes for that doll yet and I don't know when they will! And this is the last casual Chloe there and someone might get it so I took it with me!" looking like she was about to cry, she hoped her parents would have pity on her.

Rachel let out a chuckle, while Ross stressed out on what to do. With a sigh, he turned to Rachel. "This is your part of parenting. I didn't understand a thing from what she said so do something about it!"

"Honey," Rachel knelt down to face Emma, "which Chloe do you think is prettier?"

"This one," she replied, clutching to the box her father held.

"Okay, I think we should get this one now because in a few months, they'll release a whole new wardrobe for this kind of doll. Maybe by then, they'll have a prettier gown for your prettier Chloe. But if you think you like the other one better by the time we get home, then we'll come back and return this."

"Okay!" Emma smiled, happily hopping towards the check out counter.

Rachel smiled at Ross, feeling victorious and proud.

"I just hope my daughter won't return everything I buy for her." Ross uttered.

"Well, maybe if you gain some taste, she won't!" she walked past him.

"Evil!" Ross hissed as they followed their daughter.

* * *

* * *

I'm loving this fic, although it's taking time.. isn't it:) Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for all your reviews, each alert I receive motivates me to write more... and fast! Haha!I can't promise that the next chapter will be up soon but i'm hoping it will be... Because like you, I wanna know how things are gonna turn out:)


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

****

"So, Chloe huh?" Rachel teased Ross before he carried his daughter to her room. They had an exhausting family day in the mall, and before the cab could even take them home, Emma was already soundly asleep.

He turned around and gave a sarcastic smile.

Rachel set the huge doll beside the couch and stared at it. "What?" she asked Ross, noticing his presence watching her by Emma's door.

"Nothing," he smiled, "You've been staring at that doll since we bought it."

"Because I'm very fond of her name," she scoffed, sitting on the couch.

Ross rolled his eyes and walked to the kitchen. "Hey, you still haven't answered my question!".

"What question?"

"I asked you earlier if you had a date last night," he opened the cupboard and found a bottle of wine. "May I?"

"Yeah," Rachel replied. After four hours, didn't think Ross would still remember that 'date' she had last night.

"Yeah the wine or…?"

"Yeah, you can have some wine." She cleared, standing to go across Ross at the counter.

He took two glasses and poured on them both, "So?"

"Oh, that!" she innocently replied and instantly sipped to avoid answering. Stalling with the glass in her mouth, Rachel gestured Ross to wait.

He nodded, getting himself a glass as well.

"I kind'a was…" Rachel answered, finding it best to leave the answer in between 'yes' and 'no.'

"Okay, that was confusing." Ross chuckled, "What's a 'kind'a date' like?"

"Um, well…" she thought as hard as she could, "he's a co-worker. We decided to have coffee after work and we ended up quite late." She forced a grin, hoping he would settle with her story.

"I see," he pressed his lips together, then drinking his glass of red wine straight. "Is he married?"

Rachel observed Ross, he was so uncomfortable. "No," she simply replied.

Ross slowly bobbed his head and filled his glass to the rim with wine.

Rachel frowned and pulled his arm down, stopping him from sipping. "Ross," she called his attention.

His eyes went down to the floor, he felt embarrassed to look at her. "I'm sorry," he forced to smile at her. He cleared his throat, shaking off what just happened and changed the topic. "So, have you thought about moving back to Paris?" She nodded. "And?"

"I- I don't know."

Ross unfastened the first button of his shirt, hoping to ease his anxiety. "When do you plan on leaving?"

She heard the pain in his voice, but she knew she had to lie. "In a month or so, I guess. I just talked to Louis Vuitton and they said they can transfer me back there with the same benefits. Though I still have to look for a place for us..."

"Do you want to move?"

She took a deep breath, "I don't know."

"Don't," he leaned closer, grabbing hold of both her hands on the other side of the counter.

She removed her hands from his and slowly looked at him, "Things like this make me want to, Ross. It isn't fair to anyone." She thought of Catherine… Rachel felt bad knowing that her fiancée was doing this to her.

He lifted her chin and smiled at her, "But…"

She already knew what would happen in a matter of seconds, like it always does… they would both be succumbed to that warp of space and time. A moment of release of how they feel… the passion, the love, and the desire to be together and to show each other the feelings they had. But she had to be strong… it simply wasn't fair. "Don't." She averted her gaze.

Rachel walked past him and headed to her room, but Ross took hold of her arm. "Rach."

She stopped.

"Please, don't go." He pleaded, looking as if he was about to cry.

"Where are you going?" Emma asked, rubbing her eyes as she went out of her room.

The couple quickly turned their heads to Emma.

Rachel pulled her arm from Ross' grip and forced a smile. "Nowhere honey, I was just about to check up on you."

"How come daddy didn't want you to go?" she groggily walked to her mommy and held up her arms.

"Because I wanted mommy to stay here first," he lamely replied.

"Why?" Emma leaned her head on Rachel's shoulder.

"'Cause I was gonna leave already."

Emma frowned and reached for Ross, who took her from Rachel. "Don't leave daddy."

"Honey, I have to. Aunt Catherine's waiting for me," he looked at Rachel.

She looked down, avoiding his sight.

"No," Emma gripped tighter, "tell her you have to stay here, with me."

His heart melted.

Rachel sensed his upcoming decision. Even though she badly wanted him to stay, the thought of a dying woman waiting for her fiancée at home, wishing that she could spend as much time with him, plagued her mind. Before Ross could answer, Rachel rubbed Emma's back and said, "It's okay, sweetie. You'll see daddy again tomorrow!"

"But-"

"Mommy's right. I'll be seeing you tomorrow again!" Rachel wanted him to leave…

Emma pouted and hugged him tighter, "Okay," then went back to Rachel's arms.

"Bye," Ross kissed Emma's head then Rachel's cheek, invigorated by her coconut-y scent.

She stepped back immediately and smiled, "Bye."

"Bye daddy!" Emma waved as her daddy exited the apartment.

Rachel looked at her daughter and sadly smiled, "You'll see daddy tomorrow, I promise."

She nodded, leaning her head on Rachel's shoulder again.

* * *

And so it began…

Life since then was no longer the same. Weeks that passed turned into months, and Rachel found herself in pain. Seeing Ross and Catherine together wasn't the worst thing, it was pushing away Ross as far as possible.

She no longer knew where to place herself. She was lost.

She felt wrong to seem like she was waiting for Catherine to die just so she could express to Ross how much he meant to her… more so to be with him. It wasn't that she and Ross were on the verge of reconciling when it happened… it in fact they were far from that. She only had the freedom of loving him... and now, even that freedom was taken away.

It hurt her because she couldn't love him for the time being, and because she was causing a dying woman more pain.

She had to tell someone about it… she had to tell Monica.

* * *

"Hello?" Monica answered, trying to catch her breath.

"Are you alright?" the sound Rachel's voice caught Monica's attention.

"Yeah sweetie, I came from the twins' room. Are **you **alright?" she threw back the question.

"I- I don't know…" her tears suddenly began to fall.

"Rachel, hold on," Monica said. She knew this was coming. For some weird reason, Monica already felt that Rachel was having a difficult time, and she had an impression that it had something to do with Ross. She didn't know why, but knowing each other for too long gave her that gift of sense… as well as they no longer required the permission to comfort each other.

Upon hearing Rachel cry, Monica bid "Goodbye" to both her friend and her husband and immediately left the house. She didn't care if Rachel still lived in the city. Heck, she could live across the state and she would still be there.

Less than an hour later, Monica was frantically ringing the doorbell. Rachel emerged from her room, tear-stricken and opened the door.

"Oh my God, Rachel!" Monica hugged her tight.

Rachel sobbed on her bestfriend's shoulder. "Mon," muffled with tears, "I can't take it anymore. I can't stand seeing him with her."

Monica was right… it was about her brother. "Sweetie," she broke the hug and pulled Rachel to the couch, "what happened?"

Keeping the secret for too long was killing her, and now she didn't care anymore if Catherine would get mad. Rachel just knew she had to tell someone, and that someone could only be Monica. "Catherine talked to me a few months ago," she began.

Monica took a tissue from the box on the end table and handed it to her best friend, "Was it about you and Ross?"

Rachel shook her head, "Not entirely." After blowing her nose, she continued. "Catherine has cancer."

"What?" Monica was suspended in disbelief.

"She- She's has lymphnotic cancer. She started out by asking me if I still loved Ross… and she said that," Rachel began to cry once more, "that she knew Ross loved me too."

Monica rubbed her back.

"Then she said she was with him for a reason… that he loved me still… so that when- when she tells him about her condition, he wouldn't be left heartbroken."

"Oh God…"

"And she asked me to be there for Ross and take care of him when she passes away because she knows that in the end, he and I will still be together." Rachel paused, staring at nothing at all. She took a deep breath, wondering how things could change after only a few months. "But I don't know if I can do that."

"What!" People across the hall could hear Monica's scream.

"Four months ago, I had faith that I could Mon… I did my best to fulfill her wish to be with him. He was her therapy, he made her happy. And I knew my being with him hurts her even more… so I stayed away from Ross. I hardly talked to him whenever Catherine was around. And he would only come over whenever Emma asked him to. We never had a moment alone together, unlike before, because I refused to. But now…" she trailed off and cried harder.

Monica grabbed the tissue box and handed it to her. She did not see that whole story coming… even she felt her eyes welling up in tears.

"It just feels so wrong Mon. It's like I'm waiting for her to die so I could be with him! I mean, I love Ross… I really love him more than any other man in this planet. But he's also the one man that makes my heart bleed this way."

"Then why don't you tell him about Catherine?"

"I can't. I promised to her that I wouldn't tell a single soul… so you can't tell anyone." She took a deep breath.

Monica gripped Rachel's hand, "But he has to know. I know my brother… and he would leave her for you."

"I know that. That's why I'm distancing myself from him already. I can't hurt Catherine anymore, Mon. I just can't! She doesn't deserve it. I already did and I feel like shit for doing that."

"Already did?" Monica looked at her.

Rachel but her lip, "We- we slept together. He cheated on her with me." She admitted, earning a sympathetic gaze from her best friend. "It's enough that his heart is cheating on her," she bawled, leaning her head on Monica's shoulder.

"You can't hurt yourself this way."

"Whatever happens, someone's gonna get hurt. But the last person that should experience that is Catherine, because her time is limited. Plus, she never did anything wrong but to love Ross."

"Rach," Monica hugged her tight.

"I'm putting myself in her place… the only person she has is Ross, Monica. He's the only one."

"What are you planning to do? Be numb about everything?" they broke the hug.

"I-," she paused, "I've decided to go back to Paris."

"No, no, no!" Monica stood up.

"Monica if I stay, my heart will die. I don't want to feel like I'm waiting for a person to die because it's just wrong. And at the same time, I don't want to see them together because the guilt I have for leaving is eating me. I'll go crazy here!"

"What's the difference between New York and Paris? It'll still be the same."

"At least I won't have to be reminded of him each and every minute because of his scent, or his voice, or his goddamn memories."

"What if he follows you there?"

"He won't. I won't let him."

"And what about your promise of taking care of him when she dies?"

"I don't know… the thought of being with him already hurts me. I guess only time will tell." Rachel looked Monica in the eye, "I have to, Mon. I have to get out of here."

Monica felt her tears and she didn't care. She couldn't bear seeing her best friend in pain… and once again, she was going to leave. She nodded, as if allowing her to return to Paris.

"Thank you," she softly said, forcing a smile on her face.

Monica smiled as well and hugged Rachel. Together, they cried comforting each other's loss.

* * *

* * *

Did you like it? ) Sorry this took almost a month! I sense that the end is near... although you're in for a surprise.

Will Ross and Rachel end up together? Well, in a few more chapters (which I hope i'll be uploading soon), you'll find out! After all, life doesn't always have a happy ending... does it? )

Thanks for your generous reviews... keep 'em coming! Your suggestions will really help me in writing the rest of the story!


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

****

The sun came up. It was a new day.

Rachel woke up and found her daughter snuggled next to her. She kissed her head, "I love you." She then stood up from the bed, thinking she was still asleep. She took a robe from the chair and wrapped it around herself.

But Emma turned and looked up at her, "Mommy?"

"Hey," she chuckled, "I thought you were still sleeping!"

"Are we going back to Paris?" she asked.

"Who told you?" her facial expression immediately changed.

Emma shook her head, "No one."

"Ems," Rachel warned and sat next to her daughter.

"I heard you talking to Auntie Pheobes on the phone."

Rachel panicked. "I don't know, sweetie. Don't you miss your friends there?"

"A bit," Emma cocked her eyebrow, "but my daddy's here."

She smiled at her little angel and kissed her forehead, "I know. Daddy **is** here."

Seconds passed. Emma looked up at her mom who was swallowed in thought, looking out the window, and tugged her sleeve, "Mommy, were you and daddy married?"

"Who told you that?" her daughter's question got her full attention.

"Auntie Phoebes!"

She rolled her eyes… Rachel knew that leaving Emma with her Aunt Phoebe wasn't _safe_. "What else did she say?"

Emma sat up and thought, "She said something about lobsters with claws." She explained showing her mommy the claws with her fingers.

Rachel chuckled, remembering the many years Phoebe pushed that issue.

"So were you?"

She forgot to mention to her daughter that yes, they were irresponsible enough to get married in a shotgun chapel in Vegas, extremely drunk and doodled. "Um…" she began.

"So were you?" Emma repeated.

"Honey, your daddy and I are two crazy people!" Rachel nervously chuckled. "When we went to Vegas a long, long time ago, we thought it would be funny to get married and so we did!"

"Why didn't you stay married?"

"Because… because…" she couldn't find an appropriate answer.

"Because daddy's stupid and he made a lot of mistakes," Ross continued, entering her room.

"Daddy, you're here!" Emma bolted up, almost jumping to Ross.

Rachel was surprised, "You're early. How'd- How'd you get in?"

He chuckled, "I have a key, remember?"

"Oh."

"I'm sorry- your door was open and I heard you two talking. I thought it would be okay to come in."

"Sure," she grinned, "I was just getting this little girl ready for you." She looked at Emma, "Sweetie, it's time for you to take a bath."

Emma shook her head and pouted, "I don't want to."

"Emma, you can't leave with daddy if-"

"Then I won't leave," she cut her mom. "Daddy and I will stay here instead!"

Ross chuckled nervously, "Baby, you know Aunt Catherine's gonna be with us in the park, right?" She nodded. "Then you have to get ready soon."

"But I don't wanna go!" she whined.

"Emma, please?" Rachel demanded.

Emma frowned and wiggled down from her dad's embrace. "Fine."

Rachel sighed and stood up from the bed. Ross watched her. That was all he had been doing recently… watching her. For a reason he didn't know, Rachel was avoiding him. He wanted to ask her why, but they were never given a chance to be alone anymore.

"Rach," he attempted, gathering his courage now that Emma had left the room.

"Yeah?" she answered without even looking at him.

"Can I ask you something?"

She stopped and felt her heart beat faster. _Oh no_, she thought. "Sure."

"Are you mad at me or something?" he sat on the bed, hoping that she'd finally look at him.

Yet she didn't… Rachel continued to fix the room, gathering all her dirty clothes, opening and closing her cabinets just to seem busy. "No."

"Then why are you being like this?"

"Being like what?" she stopped.

"This. You're avoiding me."

"No I'm not," she faced him.

"Yes you are."

"Ross, if I was then I wouldn't be in the same room as you." She raised her voice.

Ross frowned, "Okay, never mind. I'll check on Emma." He stood up and left the room.

Rachel heavily sighed and collapsed on the bed, holding back her tears.

* * *

Ross sat on the couch and waited for Emma to finish dressing up. She wanted to choose her own clothes, knowing her father had no knowledge in feminine fashion.

He wondered what troubled Rachel… it was so evident to him that she had been avoiding him for months. Every time he tried to talk to her, it was hopeless. It never resulted to anything.

_Maybe she's moving on_, he thought. If she was, how would he feel? It only felt right that she should, considering he was engaged to someone else. But he could leave Catherine for her, his heart knew that. The only thing that was stopping him was Rachel. Since she came back, her actions had been reminding him that leaving her would be wrong. She showed no effort that things would work out between them.

Was it guilt of ruining another one of Ross' relationships? _Why? _he asked himself. _It happened one too many times, why would she be guilty now? How different would Catherine be from Julie, or Bonnie, or Emily, or even Mona? _The topic of him and Rachel… why was it always so confusing?

And now, with the way she was acting… it confused him even more! He didn't know if she was still leaving. However, if she was, Ross wouldn't know what to do. He didn't want her to leave that was sure…

"I'm done!" Emma woke him up from his thoughts. She pranced around like a princess with her purple dress and white cardigan.

"You look beautiful, sweetie." He grinned at her. _Thank God I have Emma,_ he thought, admiring his bundle of joy who, he said once, was 'all Rachel.'

Emma widely smiled and entered Rachel's room, "I'll ask mommy to fix my hair since you don't know how."

He chuckled, glaring at his daughter. Emma definitely was Rachel's daughter. Like her mother, Emma keeps Ross away from fashion, style and everything else that had to do with women and beauty antics.

He could hear them talking inside the room- Rachel reminding Emma that she should behave and not to give him and Catherine a hard time. He could also hear Emma whining, asking Rachel to come along. Finally, after a few minutes of eternity, they came out of the room.

Emma was wearing a frown, while Rachel had a sympathetic look on her face. "Sorry we took long," she apologized to Ross.

"It's fine," he smiled at them both, "Are you ready?"

Emma nodded and looked up at Rachel, "Will I see you in Central Perk?"

Rachel sighed and knelt down to her daughter, "Yes I'll be there, I promise."

Emma only spends the whole day with her parents on weekends because they work. Time was precious. "And then can we watch a movie with daddy?"

Rachel looked at Ross, "Sweetie, ask you dad."

Emma looked at him with her puppy dog eyes and pleaded, "Please?"

He smiled, "Okay."

"Yay!" Emma smiled and hugged her mom, "Bye mommy."

Ross chuckled and took Emma's hand, "Bye Rach! See you."

Rachel stood up and bid them farewell. She didn't know how she could tear them apart again, but she had to. Her transfer back to Paris was nearing its approval yet Ross still didn't know she was going to leave.

* * *

"Joey called," Phoebe mentioned, seated on the couch of Central Perk.

"What did he say?" Rachel asked, carefully holding her coffee mug, about to sit on the arm chair.

"He just congratulated me on the baby!"

Rachel nearly dropped her mug, "Baby!"

"Oh crap," she said under her breath. "I am with child!" she squealed.

Rachel, on the other hand, stared at her, "And when were you planning to tell me?"

"Today, that's why I invited you for coffee!" Phoebe replied with much enthusiasm.

"Phoebe, I just saw you in the Laundromat before coming here. So technically, I invited you."

"Okay but isn't it great? I'm having a baby!"

Rachel gave up. Phoebe was simply Phoebe. "I know sweetie. How far along are you?"

"Ten weeks!"

"You are over two months and you didn't bother to call and tell me?"

"I'm sorry," she whined, "I forgot… I thought I already told you when I told Monica."

"Monica knows?" Rachel could kill her.

"Fighting is bad for my baby," Phoebe said, "So can you please put this fight on hold for seven more months!"

"Okay, okay. Who else knows?"

"Just Monica!"

"You said Joey knew?"

"And Joey," Phoebe added.

"What about Chandler?"

"And Chandler."

"Ross?"

"And-" Phoebe paused in thought, "No, Ross doesn't know!"

"Ross doesn't know what?" Ross came from behind with Emma.

"Mommy!" the little girl ran to Rachel.

"Hi sweetie," Rachel kissed Emma. "That Phoebe's pregnant!"

"What?" Ross stood in shock.

Phoebe smiled at Ross, "I know! Isn't it great?"

"Aw, congratulations Phoebes!" he gave her a hug.

Phoebe gave Rachel a look and she rolled her eyes in return.

"Hey, I knew that! Emma butted in, grinning at her mommy. "Auntie Phoebes said she'll name the baby after her mouse, Sofia!"

"Okay you know what," Phoebe stood avoiding Rachel's evil glare, "I should leave. Bye guys!" She stood up and left.

"Bye Phoebes!" Ross waved.

"I cannot believe she didn't tell me!" Rachel bickered.

"Tell you what?" Ross shot her a quizzical look.

"That she was pregnant!"

"I uh- I actually found out about it a week ago."

"What?" Rachel frowned.

"Um, I bumped into Mike in the Laundromat."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Anyway, so what are we watching?"

Emma looked at her father, "Daddy wants to watch _War of the Worlds_… but I wanna watch _Herbie_! So you decide mommy!"

"Let's see, a car that's alive versus Martians? Tough choice!"

Emma pouted and pleaded to Rachel, "Mommy please?"

Rachel smiled at her then looked at Ross, who was also using his puppy eyes to get his way.

"Mommy please?" he copied Emma.

"What is this, Sophie's choice?" Rachel joked but neither was amused. "Okay, okay… I choose Herbie!"

"Herbie?" Ross retorted while Emma squealed.

"Better luck next time daddy!" Emma teased.

* * *

"Or maybe I could get a dog for my seventh birthday?" Emma cutely smiled at her parents and wrinkled her nose. She's been wanting to get a dog since she and Rachel arrived New York.

"How about you go to your room and change to your pajamas?" Rachel suggested, having just arrived from their movie.

Emma sighed and sadly looked down the ground, "Okay, okay."

Ross and Rachel watched their little girl concentrate on the floor with her pouted lips trembling. She was obviously begging her parents to get what she wanted by trying to look so adorable. She knew how to catch their attention… but she had been doing it for so long that it hardly worked anymore.

"Emma?" Ross tried his best not to laugh.

Emma looked up and pretended to tear, "Yeah daddy?"

"You hang out with your mommy too much," Ross started laughing.

"Hey!" Rachel whined.

"Oh please, you do that all the time!" Ross shot back.

Emma turned around and headed for her room, giving up on her childish parents.

"See what you did?" Rachel glared at Ross.

"I didn't do anything," he replied, leaning on the kitchen counter.

Rachel opened the refrigerator and took a can of Diet Coke, "Want some?"

"No thanks," Ross said, looking at her intently. There he was again, watching her and her every language her body made. "Rach?"

"Yeah?" she asked, closing the ref. She sensed the sudden tension … the kind of tension that only arose when Emma was nowhere to be found.

"About this morning, I'm sorry. It's just that…" he paused and turned away his glare, "it's just that lately, you seem to have been avoiding me. Did I do anything wrong?"

"No." They both stayed silent.

"Then what?"

"I just think it's better this way."

"How is it better? You hardly even stayed in a room with me for more than five minutes without Emma."

"Ross. It's much easier if I just stay away."

He scoffed, "I don't get you."

"Ross, you're engaged already. You're getting married. This is my way of moving on. You have to live your life with Catherine, Ross… And I want to live my life too. We just have to accept that things have changed between us… and we can't get through life without making sacrifices."

It seemed like she was speaking in a different language. He didn't understand her… he couldn't because he gazed at her, and her eyes told him she was lying. He stepped closer and closed his eyes; then he took her face, softly placing his lips on hers. He felt that buried feeling once more when she kissed him back.

Slowly, she tangoed with his tongue as it entered her mouth. It felt so good. The passion, the desire, the heat that invigorated their senses was so strong.

Yet it wasn't strong enough…

Rachel opened her eyes and pushed him away after realizing what she had done. Mental images of Catherine pleading on her couch flashed in her head. She covered her mouth and closed her eyes.

Ross stood still. He was baffled with both happiness and pain. Happiness for kissing him back… and pain for pushing him away with much force and guilt.

Rachel looked down. "I think you should leave," she spoke so soft it was nearly inaudible.

"Rach-"

"Leave," she demanded raising her voice.

He pressed his lips together and slowly nodded, grabbing his coat on the counter before exiting the apartment. He sat down on the step outside the apartment and drowned himself in thought. At that moment, he would do anything to have that seven seconds once more and hold onto it forever.

He knew what he had to do, he just had to figure out a way how.

A door away, Rachel got the handset and dialed a number. She waited a while until another voice came to the receiver.

"Monica?" she began to cry, "I'm going back to Paris."

* * *

* * *

All the drama... and more to come:) Reviews:)


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

****

"Daddy!" Emma cried when she saw her father in the coffeehouse.

"Hey!" Ross scooped her up and wiped the tears from her eyes, looking quizzically at the rest of the gang.

Monica, Phoebe and Chandler gathered around their usual spot in the coffeehouse that Sunday afternoon. In full force, they handled Emma along with her cousins, Jack and Erica.

"What's wrong?"

Emma hugged her dad tight and continued crying on his shoulder. She refused to answer his question.

Ross looked back at his friends and asked them the same question, "What's wrong? What happened?"

None of them could answer. Instead, they all looked at him sympathetically.

Ross rolled his eyes and carried his daughter to the chair. He sat down and forced to sit her up just so they could talk. "Sweetie, what happened?"

Emma finally answered her father, "We're moving back to Paris… I don't want to leave you daddy! Please tell mommy not to go?" She sobbed.

Ross froze on the chair. He couldn't believe what his daughter said. He looked at his sister for confirmation and she nodded. "Since when?" he asked all of them.

Monica opted to answer, "She- She called me last night and told me she had finally decided to go back."

"When is she leaving?"

"In three days." Monica watched her brother's face fall.

_Last night,_ he thought, _last night I kissed her. Last night I made my decision to break up with my fiancée and now, she's leaving!_ "Did she say why?"

Monica shook her head. Chandler and Phoebe did the same.

Emma looked at her father and pleaded once more, "Daddy Please tell her not to go? I don't want to leave you again."

Ross kissed his daughter's forehead and handed her to her to her uncle, "Where's Rachel?"

"She's upstairs," Phoebe answered.

He took one last look at his daughter and dashed out of the coffee shop.

* * *

"You're leaving?" Ross panted after running up three flights of stairs.

Rachel turned to face his familiar voice that just entered her apartment. She dropped the candlesticks she was holding inside the box and replied, "I'm going back to Paris."

He looked around the apartment, filled with empty boxes everywhere. "I thought you said you weren't sure if you were still going!"

"Well, now I am."

"Rachel it was months ago since I last asked you," he paused, remembering that night. "Why didn't you even tell me you were leaving?" Anger was beginning to fill his voice.

"Because I hadn't decided on leaving early until last night."

"Last night!"

"Last night… remember? You kissed me?"

"You kissed me back!" Ross retorted with a loud voice. "Is that why you're leaving?"

"No."

"Then what!"

"I can't do this anymore, Ross!" she yelled.

"Do what?" he yelled back.

"This…" she replied softly with her eyes welling up with ache, "I'm tired of hurting, Ross. I'm tired of falling head over heels for one minute, then hating you the next. I am tired of fighting about us or about Emma." Her tears ran down her cheeks, and her voice began to crack. "I'm tired of seeing you with Catherine and pretending it's not painful, because it **is**… and I'm tired of regretting that I left every minute I'm with you."

"And you think I'm not tired of all of those too?" he coldly asked.

"I know you are," she replied, "and that's why I'm leaving."

"No."

"Ross-"

"I'm leaving Catherine." He stated, looking her straight in the eye.

Rachel could hear her heart pounding. Once more she was torn between two decisions… but this decision would determine their future. She closed her eyes and turned around, wiping her tears.

Ross stood still, waiting for an answer. "Rachel." God, did he want her to stay… he wanted **her**, his Rachel.

She couldn't look at him anymore. It was too difficult to answer him whole-heartedly. Rachel took a deep breath and answered, "No, don't."

"What?" he was taken aback.

"No Ross," she heard her own voice trembling.

"Look at me and tell you don't want me to leave her for you and Emma." He harshly demanded.

She turned around once more, gathered her courage and forced herself return his painful glare. "No Ross," she repeated for the third time, "I don't want you to leave her."

Ross remained numb.

Her eyes stayed away from his. That pair of hazel brown eyes alone made her feel secure, loved and complete… and gazing into them would make her give in.

"No?" He finally spoke, plastering a sarcastic smile and nodded, reflecting nothing but his emptiness inside.

She stayed silent.

Ross pressed his lips together and his tears slowly ran down his cheeks… he found it hard to contain himself. All of a sudden, he turned to the wall beside him and punched it hard. Then he leaned against it with his forehead and cried, still punching the wall with all his might.

Rachel ran to him and pulled back his arm to stop him. She could already see his knuckles swelling with redness.

"Don't do this. Don't leave." He uttered amidst the tears.

"I have to," she gripped his arm tighter, "sooner or later you'll understand… then you'll thank me for that."

"What?" he faced her with confusion.

"It's… it's something I can't explain."

"I can't let you leave not knowing the reason why, Rach."

"Ross. You're with Catherine and-"

"But I love **you**! Is that hard to understand? I'll leave her-"

"Ross-"

"No Rachel. I'm willing to give everything up for you."

Rachel took a few steps away from him and shook her head, "You and I just can't go on hurting other people again that way."

"But I want to!" he insisted, raising his voice.

"You can't do that to her… she doesn't deserve it!" she retorted.

"Why?" he began to yell. "Since when did **you **care about** her**, Rachel? You never cared about Julie.. or Bonnie.. or Emily.. or Mona!"

"Stop it," she begged him.

Yet Ross continued, screaming at the top of his lungs. "Hell, you don't even care about **Emma**!"

"Ross-" she was getting drained.

"Doesn't it pain you that you cannot give her the one thing she has ever wanted? A family?" Ross watched her body collapse on the floor in tears. "This isn't **love** Rachel. You're selfish because you **NEVER** loved me or anyone more than yourself." He was completely out of line, but his rage brought the worst out of him.

Rachel glared at him. With that, she gave up… it was too much to take. "Catherine's dying."

"Stop it," Ross dismissed her, thinking it was another phony excuse.

She stood up emotionless and repeated, "Catherine is dying, Ross."

He suddenly held on to the counter for support, his legs felt like Jello. "What?"

"She has cancer."

He scoffed in disbelief, "You're ly-"

"I'm not lying." she immediately responded. "She has cancer, and I've known it for quite some time now." She took a deep breath, "The one person she needs is you, Ross, so don't you dare call me selfish… because I'm giving up my life just so she can live hers." She kept her stern composure, turned around and entered her room.

Ross stood still, trying to digest everything. He felt so stupid and imprudent…

* * *

"So you knew why she was leaving?" Ross asked his sister before drowning the eighth beer bottle he's had for the night.

Monica cautiously nodded. He drove all the way to Westchester with a number of beer bottles, both empty and unopened… and she knew her brother was already intoxicated when he arrived, and there was no way she would let him drive home.

"Why does this have to happen to me now?" he looked around the guest room, practically blaming no one.

"Ross," Monica rubbed his back, "Catherine asked Rachel to stay…" she paused, hoping that by explaining further, it would be easier for him to accept the situation. "She asked her to stay for you so that when she…" Monica stopped.

"Dies," Ross continued.

"Dies, you'll have Rachel to take care of you and-"

"Then why is she still going back?" he cut her.

"It hurts her seeing you two, knowing that Catherine's ill, and yet still wanting to be with you." She tried her best not to raise her voice. Her bother could be so dense beyond intellect. "Ross, Rachel doesn't want to **wait **for Catherine to die. It's just wrong."

"Then what's right?" he snapped.

Monica tried hard to stay cool but Ross' anger and stubbornness were getting into her nerves. "That you understand them both," she yelled.

Ross paused. He had no right to treat Monica that way… he was fortunate enough to have someone to listen to him. "I'm sorry…"

"Ross," she calmed down, "Whatever you do, Rachel will not allow herself to be with you right now. If you let her leave, you're sparing her from experiencing even more torture." She hugged him, "Sweetie, Catherine's dying wish is to be with you. Let fate do the job if you and Rachel are meant to be together."

Ross scoffed, "That never worked, Mon."

"Then maybe it never will."

He looked at her.

"Look, whether it **will **or it **won't**, you have to let Rachel go."

He was completely defeated. It was a lose-lose situation.

* * *

* * *

I can't believe I forgot to upload this chapter! Anyway, I hope the whole story made more sense... sorry you had to re-read it! Thanks once again for your support and reviews! I'll be uploading my next fic soon:)


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Within three days, Rachel had packed all her belongings and had the apartment up for lease. She handed the key to Phoebe, who promised to take care of the negotiations with the new tenant. In those three days, Emma neither laughed nor smiled. She and Rachel had been in bad terms since Rachel told her they were going back to Paris… and that Wednesday, she hadn't uttered a word since she woke up.

Rachel double-checked everything she had. Their passports, their tickets, their money, snacks, Emma's bear and extra clothes… She made sure all their boxes had her name and address in Paris on them before the shipping company took them away. She looked around the apartment they lived in for almost a year… she suddenly felt turmoil in her stomach, remembering the thought she had when she first arrived… that Paris would be the last place she'd ever live in again.

Emma peacefully sat on one of their luggage, having no other furniture to decently sit on. She played with her bear, trying everything else to amuse herself. Leaving New York was far from her thoughts… she didn't want to go back to Paris. She didn't want to leave her daddy, her cousins, and her aunts and uncles whom she had grown to love. Most of all, she didn't want to see her mommy alone again in a country she never really liked.

"Ems?" Rachel's heart broke seeing her daughter that way. The situation went out of hand and since the beginning, neither Ross nor Rachel had the intention of hurting her.

She heard her mom's sad voice. After much hesitation, Emma finally responded and looked up.

Rachel sighed in relief, smiled apologetically and approached her. "Come here," she hugged Emma tight.

Emma wrapped her arms around her mother in return.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie." Rachel began to cry. "I know you don't want to leave… but we have to. Daddy will still come and visit you, I promise. Your cousins will be with Uncle Chandler and Auntie Monica too, and with gramps and poppy and nana-"

"Why do we have to go back?" Emma asked.

Rachel broke the hug and brushed away Emma's hair on her face. "I told you... Because if we don't, mommy won't have a job anymore..."The reason wasn't enough, it was too shallow… and Rachel knew Emma wouldn't be satisfied with that.

"But I thought your work was transferred here forever?"

_Forever_… the word echoed a thousand times in her head. "I thought so too, sweetie." She reminded herself never to say that word again to anyone… not even to herself. So many times she mentioned that to the people she loved, both in a positive and negative way… but somehow, 'forever' never happened.

"What about daddy?" Emma's tears started to fall.

Rachel wiped them with her hands, "Daddy will be visiting us there, like before!"

"But I want daddy to be with us… can he come too?"

"Sweetie, daddy's getting married to Aunt Catherine remember? He can't just leave her."

"But you and daddy were married… why did he leave you?"

Her smart daughter was asking every possible question she could and Rachel was running out of answers. "Emma, that was different." She took her face in her hands, "Listen, we'll visit daddy here as often as we can. Daddy, too, will visit us there whenever he can. I'm sure daddy can't stand that long not seeing his princess, he loves you too much."

Emma smiled a little at the thought, but sadness still overwhelmed her. She turned away from Rachel as soon as she heard the doorknob twist. "Daddy!" she squealed, running to Ross as he entered.

Ross looked terrible. His eyes were worn out from both lack of sleep and crying. The past few days were hell. "Hi sweetie!" he sadly grinned, trying his best not to cry once more as he hugged his baby girl.

Rachel slowly stood up. She couldn't look at them.

Emma gripped tight, afraid to let him go. "Daddy," she began to cry, "please come with us?"

If only Ross could, he would… "I'll see you as soon as you and mommy are settled there, I promise!"

"But I want you to go now. Please? Go pack your bags now!" Harder and harder she sobbed, while her father tried to be a pillar of strength.

Ross' eyes slowly spotted Rachel silently crying at the far end of the room.

She refused to look at him, but she had no choice but to. She could see the sorrow, the misery in him. In return, he could see them in her too. Her tears freely fell. He hugged his daughter tighter. It was too much… she let out a soft scream of pain then entered Emma's empty room, wanting to compose herself.

The moving finally guys came and took away Rachel and Emma's boxes. Ross stayed and helped, spending the last few hours with them.

He and Rachel remained silent towards one another as they made use of what was left of the apartment… they sat on the floor, comforting their little girl while avoiding each other's sight.

Inevitably, the hour came when Rachel and Emma had to leave. As planned, Ross took them to the airport while the rest of the gang promised to meet them there.

Rachel gave her building one last glance and Ross hailed a cab. Whatever happened and would happen, there was only one place she could call home. The cab came and they placed the luggage at the back and then entered the cab.

"Newark," Ross told the driver. Then he felt Emma wrap her arms around her daddy as he hugged her in return.

* * *

Ross and Rachel entered and found Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Mike and the twins at the benches by the check-in counter. Rachel went straight to check-in their luggage and Ross accompanied her. Emma ran to her aunts and uncles, releasing her hand from her mother's grip. 

Monica scooped up the child and hugged her tight, whispering, "Everything's gonna be okay, sweetie."

Emma looked down. The grief she possessed saddened them all.

Phoebe took her from Monica and kissed her forehead, "Don't forget the cookies I taught you okay? _Nestle Tollhouse_, she's an old lady from France and she made those yummy treats."

Emma cracked a small smile, knowing what her aunt believed about the 'French recipe,' and nodded.

Chandler carried her as well, giving her a bear hug. Emma finally squealed and grinned at her uncle. He always had a special way of cheering up people. "Emma Wemma," he began, "if something happens or if you miss us, just call okay?"

Emma nodded.

"But don't tell your mommy cause it costs a lot!" Chandler added, earning a slap on the arm for his wife. Finally, he set her down with Erica and Jack.

"When are you coming back?" five-year-olds Jack and his sister asked the cousin they've grown to love.

Emma squinted and sighed, "I dunno. I'm living in Paris already"

Erica frowned in disbelief. She couldn't grasp the fact that she and Emma would never see each other every weekend, or whenever her mommy and aunt would have impromptu lunches or dinners, or even family reunions. "No, you're living here!" she insisted.

Jack, unable to comprehend what was happening between the two girls, decided to tag his sister and run. "You're it!"

Quickly, the two girls dismissed their situation and joined the more enjoyable game of life.

Ross and Rachel approached the gang, with Ross pulling Rachel's carry-on baggage.

"Are you set?" the tearful Monica asked her best friend.

Rachel showed their boarding passes and replied, "I guess so." With that, they walked to their gate of departure.

Monica hugged Rachel tight as soon as they reached the security checkpoint leading to gate 13. She felt her tears streaming down but she didn't care.

Rachel sobbed too, adding on to the emotional scene in the airport. "Thank you," she mumbled, "You're the best_est_ friend anyone could ever ask for."

Monica broke the hug and looked at her, "You are **so** welcome." She hugged Rachel one last time.

Chandler came next, trying his best to maintain composure, avoiding any sarcastic comment similar to what he did the last time she left… and successfully, his woe took away the ability.

Phoebe cried too, hugging her friend which was more like a squeeze. "Come visit in seven months, okay? My child needs her godmother!"

Rachel smiled, "I will. Thank you, Phoebes."

Mike gave her a warm hug, wishing her a great time in Paris.

Both Jack and Erica gave their aunt a kiss on the cheek and sadly smiled, and then adorably begged her to leave Emma behind.

Emma stayed in Ross' arms, crying together with her dad, repeatedly whispering to his ears the words "Come with us."

"_Flight 102 to Paris, now boarding seat numbers 10 to 35." _The PA said twice.

Ross then let go of his baby.

"I love you," she softly said looking up at him.

"I love you too, sweetie." Ross knelt down and kissed her before turning to Rachel.

There she stood, vulnerable like anything. She gazed at him, sobbing. There were no words, feelings alone spoke for themselves.

Ross approached her and hugged her tight. She responded to his embrace and felt lifeless in his arms. Ross kissed her hair, then her forehead. She looked up at him and looked at his lips nearing hers. For one **last** time, Ross kissed her…

As they broke, Rachel heard the three words she dreaded he'd say. "I love you," Ross whispered in her ear.

She pressed her lips together, debating on whether or not she should say it too.

"_Final boarding call for flight 102, bound for Paris." _The lady announced.

Her heart was beating so fast, and his gaze fixated on her, silently begging her to say it back. "I love you too," she replied at last, inaudible not to him but to the rest of the world.

As soon as he heard it, he let her go.

Rachel forced a smile. She took Emma's hand, grabbed her bag and headed to the security check point. After passing the metal detector, Emma ran back to Ross and gave him one last hug.

They took one last look before entering the jet bridge and waved _goodbye._

Dying inside, he watched the two people he cared for the most leave; while Monica stood by him and hugged him as he cried.

Ross felt so empty coming home to his apartment. The dreams, visions and goals he had for him and Rachel building a family suddenly shattered into a million pieces. The last four words she said, he felt it like a bullet that fired directly to his heart. It killed him.

He was at the end… and there was no light.

* * *

**The end**? Hehehe not yet! One last chapter, most probably the **Epilogue**. I really love this fic, although it was a little too dramatic... but then again, what would life be like without drama? ) 

I honestly hope you enjoyed reading thisas much asI did writing it. Thank you for your support and motivation... the last chapter will be posted ( I hope to say soon but I don't want to promise anything anymore because it's still in the works).

Care to review?


	17. Epilogue

**I added a filler chapter (Chapter 14). I forgot to upload it! The whole story will make more sense with it:)**

**Epilogue**

"Fin?" A girl aged thirteen with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes, looking just like Rachel, bolted up from her bed and shot her mom a look.

"Ems, you know what happened after we arrived Paris." Rachel said in reply to her daughter's French query of the story's end. Yawning and stretching her arms, Rachel stood up from the bed, "Bonne Nuit."

"Non!" she protested. "Mais," Emma tried to wanted her mother to continue.

"But?" Rachel repeated, raising her eyebrows.

Emma sighed, defeated. "Fine, good night mom."

"Je ne sais pas!" A teeny complaint from a six-year-old girl who also looked similar to Rachel, except for her darker hair, suddenly butted in. She emerged from the bed next to Emma's.

"You don't know?" Rachel said in a funny voice as she approached her.

"Oui. Je ne sais pas!" The child repeated as she started squealing and hid under her blanket; but Rachel was still able to tickle her.

"Arretez!" she yelped with both laughter and exasperation, "Arretez s'il vous plait!"

Rachel continued to tickle her despite the child's plea to stop.

"Mommy! Arretez!" she repeated, "Sto-o-o-o-op please!"

She finally stopped and collapsed on the bed. She turned her head to the little girl and shot her a look, "Isabella, I thought you were already asleep!"

Isabella sheepishly smiled and shook her head, "I want to hear the rest of your story."

"You know the story." Rachel said, deadpanned.

"I don't…" Isabella grinned.

Rachel glanced at the purple clock that matched the purple room and checked the time. It was nearly eleven and she was exhausted… "Bella-"

"S'il vous plait?" she begged.

"Yeah, continue it please?" Emma added from the other bed.

Rachel sighed, "Okay… okay…" she sat up on Isabella's bed and continued…

* * *

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock…_

_The sound of the clock almost made Ross flip as he impatiently waited for Catherine to enter their apartment. They had moved in since Rachel and Emma went back to Paris a month ago. She finally told him about her illness and that she had considered undergoing chemotherapy to lengthen her life, even just for a few months. He then urged her to move in with him so he could take proper care of her._

_It had been a depressing month for Ross. His true happiness was thousands of miles away… why else would the passing days matter. He developed a ritual. Every morning, he would get up from bed, take a shower, make breakfast for him and Catherine, give her a morning kiss on the cheek and leave for work. Then he would bury himself with work all throughout the afternoon, hoping the time would never come for him to go home. Since he and Catherine hardly cooked, he usually passed by some take-out restaurant before going home; then he'd eat dinner with her, exchange a few words about their day, freshen up, and then finally go to bed. The only exception in that cycle would be the occasional sex they had whenever he felt like it._

_Though that afternoon was different… he felt an overwhelming sensation of anger in his system. A week ago, he hated himself for doubting his girlfriend's illness because he found a few boxes of pregnancy tests hidden under the sink. Ross asked himself, 'Why would a woman, sick with cancer and undergoing chemotherapy, still keep EPTs when she knows her body no longer can handle a pregnancy?' But then again, maybe she stored those before everything else. Or could it be that she was making it up all along to drive Rachel away because he was about to leave her? He badly wanted her to let him free… and thoughts of death and deceit, no matter how bad they were, often plagued his mind._

_His week-long doubt was answered when he found a negative pregnancy test wrapped with tissue in his trash can, along with Catherine's foul behavior that morning, which she claimed to be the effect of her medication._

_Ross anxiously tapped his fingers and held a glass of scotch on the other hand… no way was that day ending without answers._

_The rattling sound of keys and the twisting of the doorknob made Ross clutch the glass tighter. He glanced at the clock; it was six o'clock and she was right on time._

_Catherine entered the apartment, burnt out with exhaustion. "Hi baby," she greeted Ross before hanging her coat on the rack._

_His burning eyes remained fixated on the blank TV screen. He tried to stay calm, tried his best not to throw the glass at her when she came near._

"_What's wrong?" she asked with an upbeat tone, sitting down on the coffee table across him, after being rejected with a 'honey, I'm home' kiss._

"_I'm gonna ask you one question… and you better have an honest answer." He spoke so emotionless, Catherine started to worry._

_She felt his coldness send chills down her spine, and for some reason she was afraid. "Ross-"_

_His eyes finally went to her. "Are you really sick?"_

"_What?" Catherine gasped, hurtfully looking at him._

"_Do **you** have cancer?" he sternly asked._

"_How dare you ask me that!" Catherine stood up, "What the hell do you think of me?"_

_He didn't move… instead, he repeated it one last time. "Do you have cancer?"_

_She broke down, "Fuck you, Ross. I won't make up something like this… I'm not stupid or desperate."_

_Ross nervously chuckled and threw the pregnancy test on the table._

"_What's that?" Catherine looked at the tissue-wrapped object._

"_I don't know, you tell me."_

_She did, she took it in her hand and removed the tissue. Nervously, she looked at him "Ross-" and his eyes slowly glared up to her. "This isn't mine!" she chuckled._

_He deeply sighed and stood up to leave, but she grabbed his arm. "Okay, okay…" she paused. She was cornered…_

"_Ross-"_

"_Say it," he was close to yelling._

"_I'm **not **sick." Catherine began to sob._

_Silence filled the room. Only their hearts pounding in anger and nervousness could be heard._

"_I only lied because I can't lose you, Ross."_

_He scoffed._

"_You- you're the only one for me, and I know that. I will make you happy." As if she was trying to prove to him her innocence, Catherine continued to reason out. "And Rachel? Ross, She doesn't love you as much as I do because she let you go."_

_He softly spoke, "Stop it."_

"_I love you Ross, and you love me…"_

"_Catherine-"_

"_Rachel's just some distraction, some frustration you have because you know she never loved you as much as you did-"_

"_**STOP IT!**" Ross was finally fed up with angst. He pulled his arm out of her grip. "Are you blind? Can't you see how unhappy I am with you? How each passing day, you make my life worthless? Meaningless?"_

"_Ross, please…?"_

_Driven with anger, he pushed her away form him, "You know what? **You are sick**." He tried to move away but she hugged him._

_Sobbing, she pleaded, "Ross, you can't do this!"_

_He felt so stupid believing in a lie. Ross tried his best to maintain composure. "Leave," he simply said, backing away from her._

_Catherine knelt down and begged him, "Ross, don't-"_

"_I thought I could love you," he coldly responded._

"_You can!" she convinced him. "I love you, Ross….and no one could ever love you like I do."_

_Sarcasm began to settle in. He chuckled with disdain, stepping further away from her._

"_How dare you do this to me! You fooled me, you cheated on me… I only said that I was sick because I knew you were gonna leave me. I knew I'd be one of the women you left for her, whose heart you shattered into pieces."_

_Guilt rushed over him._

"_I had to drive Rachel away from here, Ross. Since she arrived, she and **her **daughter drifted us apart!_

_But anger had more power… Ross felt the need to shove her out of his apartment. **Her** daughter? He thought, remembering Emma's cries and pleas for him to stay with him… everything just fell into place in his mind. He knew he had fault in the whole situation, making Catherine believe that she had a future with him. But in the end, she was a lunatic that made Ross, Rachel and Emma suffer because of a statement that had no truth. "Get out."_

"_Ross," she pleaded, almost kissing his feet._

_He stepped back once more, avoiding her sight. "Get out," he repeated. "Get out of my home."_

_Catherine took one last look at him, sobbing like a child._

"_I'm sorry," he indifferently said, "There is no **us**. I can't be with you." He headed to his room, hoping she would disappear forever._

* * *

"And then?" a wide-eyed Isabella shook asked her mom. 

"And then sadly, you came." Emma teased.

Rachel let out a loud sigh at them both... not so long ago, she and her sisters behaved the same way.

"Mooooom!" Isabella whined.

She smiled at her, cupping her face and giving her a kiss on the nose. "Okay you two, time for bed! Bonne nuit!" she bid her goodnight and stood up.

"No," Isabella whined once more, pulling her mom's arm. "Don't leave yet!"

"Sweetie," Rachel yawned, "Please make mommy sleep."

Isabella pouted and let her mom go.

"I'll tell you the rest some other night," she promised.

"Alright! Bonne nuit."

Rachel gave her one more kiss before she went underneath her blanket, "Love you."

"Love you too mommy."

Rachel went to Emma and kissed her forehead, "Goodnight sweetie, I love you."

"'Night mom!"

Rachel smiled at them both before closing the lamp shade on the table that separated both beds.

She exited to a hall with four doors. Walking around their fairly sized modern yet simplistic apartment and making sure that the doors were locked, she heard a soft chattering noise from the living room and followed it. There she found a four-year-old boy watching television with his eyes half-opened.

"Ryan!" she said with a warning tone, tapping her shoe with her arms folded.

Ryan's eyes widened and shifted from the TV to Rachel with a mischievous grin. "Allo!" he shyly greeted, being busted… again. His cheeks were burning red; then he squinted his nose and looked at her with his big brown eyes.

The cute gesture made Rachel smile… she knew she couldn't even pretend to be mad at him for long.

Ryan instantly hugged her as she sat down next to him.

"Why are you here? Didn't daddy put you to bed?" she stroked his brown hair.

"I want you to put me to bed." He looked up at her and grinned even wider.

Rachel knew what her little critter did. He often went out of bed after his parents tucked him in to watch cartoons. She glanced at the TV and saw _Batman's_ ending credits rolling up. She carried him and stood up. Turning the TV off, she whispered to his ear, "Time to sleep, sweetie," and he laid his head on her shoulder.

By the time they entered Ryan's room, the father of her children, still dressed in his work clothes, was soundly sleeping on the bed with a bear underneath his arm.

Ryan saw his father and pointed, "Daddy's sleeping." He giggled, causing his older replica to stir and open his eyes.

"Ross, what are you doing there?" Rachel raised her eyebrow, holding in her laughter.

Ross quickly stood and cleared his throat, "I was putting Ryan to sleep."

"Really!" she said with sarcasm and placed Ryan on his bed.

"Yes but he fooled me by pretending to sleep… and so I fell asleep." he explained.

Rachel rolled her eyes, "I caught him watching cartoons again."

Ryan smiled at his parents and covered himself with a blanket and sucked his thumb. "Mo-ommy," he whined pulling her down beside him.

Rachel laid down beside her son and evilly smiled at Ross who looked down in defeat, "It's my turn."

"Fine, I'll see you in the room." Before leaving, he kissed Ryan goodnight.

"Mommy, will my tummy hurt 'cause I swallowed gum?" Ryan worriedly looked up at Rachel.

Rachel smiled at the adorable child beside her. She wanted to squeeze him so tight... "Did you swallow gum?"

He slowly nodded and started to fret, "Bella said a bubble's gonna grow inside my stomach" he paused to take a deep breath, "and it's gonna get really big!"

"That's not true," she pinched his nose. "She was just scaring you because you're not supposed to swallow gum!"

"Why?" he asked, stifling a yawn.

Burnt out with the many questions her children had that night, Rachel decided to let the last one go. "I'll answer that tomorrow."

Ryan nodded and cuddled next to her, "I wuv you mommy."

"I love you too, baby," she whispered, draping her arm over him.

Rachel watched as her little boy's lids slowly closed. Time flew so fast… it was as if yesterday she cradled him in her arms, serenading him to sleep, while Ross dealt with their two-year-old who refused to take a bath, and a weary Emma who complained about the noise because she couldn't do her homework.

Day by day, Ryan was getting bigger, looking just like his father… and like any other Geller child, he was competitive and intellectual. But Ryan was as sweet as anything to his mommy, just like Ross was to his. Isabella, on the other hand, was her father's little darling… she was like a little Rachel who fancied dinosaurs. And Emma, the teenaged sweetheart Ross and Rachel had, was vain, spoiled and stylish like her mom… yet like her dad, she was smart, independent and responsible.

Rachel smiled at the thought… Her babies were growing up so quick.

Ryan's eyelids were shut tight. Rachel slowly got the bear nearby and cuddled it next to him, replacing her space. He stirred when she got up from the bed, but as he went back to sleeping soundly, she took it as a sign to leave.

* * *

Rachel entered her bedroom at the end of the hall and spotted Ross walking back and forth in the balcony, overlooking a part of the beautiful city of love. She wrapped herself with a thicker robe and went to him. 

"Oui, oui." Ross affirmed on the mobile phone. He stopped pacing as soon as Rachel joined him. "Non. Cela m'est egal."

Ross smiled at his wife for seven years and softly kissed her on the lips. "Bien sur," he agreed to the person he was talking to and said his parting words, "Lundi, oui! Au revoir."

"Who was that?" she asked as he ended the call and placed the phone in his back pocket.

"A woman," he teased, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close.

"A woman?" she frowned.

"A really old woman from the museum who's asking me to change an exhibit on Monday," he clarified. Since he followed Rachel to Paris, he'd been working as the head of the anthropology and paleontology department at _Cite des Sciences et de l'Industrie_, one of the largest and most visited science museums in the world.

"How old?" she grinned at him, nearing her face to his.

"Soixante dix." he chuckled, being able to speak fluent French. For almost eight years of residing in France, Ross learned and understood the language. It was already accustomed to their family to speak both English and French. "Are you jealous?"

She giggled, "Does this seventy year old woman have a crush on you?"

Ross raised his eyebrows, "Maybe… but she knows I'm in love with an older woman."

She playfully hit him on the chest and gazed at him.

For more than two decades, they still had it…. The magic… the chemistry… that spark that lit in each other's eyes.

She pressed her lips against his. "Je t'adore," she said before going in the room again.

Ross took her hand and followed her in, "Wait. Come on," he whined. "We've been busy all week with work and the kids…" he placed his hands behind her hips, pulling her closer. "And I missed you," he gently kissed her neck.

Rachel hummed, "Okay…" She laughed and started loosening his tie.

He cupped her face with both his hands and kissed her softly, both drowning in the moment.

She started speaking while he continued nibbling down her neck, "Monica called me at work this afternoon."

"And?" he kissed her shoulder.

"She was wondering when we'll be leaving for New York to attend your parents' 50th wedding anniversary."

"Why?"

"She's sending me a list of things to buy for her, Chandler and the kids cause they won't be visiting us this year."

Ross chuckled, "All the time!"

After a few seconds, Rachel interrupted Ross' kissing once more. "Honey, Ryan's in that curiosity stage already."

"What?"

"Y'know, asking… and asking… and asking." She closed her eyes.

He finally stopped, "Why? Did he ask you about sex?" He grinned, making her roll her eyes at him.

"No, he asked me if his stomach will balloon up cause he swallowed a piece of gum…" Ross laughed. "And the other night he asked me why mommies have boobies and daddies don't. But I said you were an exception."

Ross ceased laughing and glared at her. "Please tell me you didn't?"

She chuckled, "I was just kidding… but you do have boobies, you know!"

"Ha-ha," he mocked her.

"Anyway," she sighed. "Bella's asking me questions too… like how we met and ended up together… and how you followed me here and impregnated me the night you arrived," Rachel joked.

"Oh… So you told her how good her daddy is in doing this?" he cocked his eyebrow and kissed her on the lips. "And this?" he kissed her chin.

She smiled and began running her hands through his hair, "And Emma asked me a question this afternoon. But I told her to ask you instead."

"What question?"

"If she can go out on a date with her schoolmate, François, tomorrow…"

He bolted up and looked at his wife with concern, "A date?"

She nodded and smirked, knowing how he'd react. "Sweetie, it's just a date. She's thirteen years old!"

"Rachel, a date… don't you know what can happen during a date?" Ross began to panic.

She glared at him, "Ross."

He loudly exhaled, defeated, "Okay never mind."

"Honey, you're gonna have to accept that your little girl isn't little anymore."

"You know what, I'll deal with that tomorrow." He wrapped his arms around her and swayed to a silent rhythm. "Tonight, it's just about you and me," he whispered to her ear, "Je t'adore."

Rachel smiled contentedly and embraced him… his lips passionately met hers once more, and on and on they went until they fell on the bed, binding themselves together with a simple act that meant a simple word… **love**.

Nearly eight years ago, a man arrived Paris to look for the one and only woman he loved. When he found her standing by an apartment door with eyes reflecting nothing but sadness and loneliness, he knew it was time… and he vowed never to let her go, promising her a new beginning in a new place with a new life.

* * *

**The End**

For those of you who 'guessed' my twist, good job! Heehee! Although I seriously considered ending this fanfic with them apart, feeling Emma's character made me change my mind. She was too adorable to be rewarded with a separated Ross and Rachel.

Thank you so much for all your reviews, your support and your motivation. I will surely miss this fic… Yet the end of one means the beginning of another:)

**I added a filler chapter (Chapter 14). I forgot to upload it! The whole story will make more sense with it:)**

The French words I used:

_Fin – _(The) End

_Bonne Nuit - _Goodnight

_Mais - _But

_Non - _No

_Je ne sais pas – _I don't know

_Arretez - _Stop

_S'il vous plait - _Please

_Allo - _Hello

_Oui - _Yes

_Cela m'est egal _– I don't mind

_Bien sur – _Of course

_Lundi - _Monday

_Au revoir – _Good bye

_Soixante dix - _Seventy Thanks, **Hailey, **for the correction:)

_Je t'adore – _I love you

_Merci!_


End file.
